Too often, I find that all of the plates/balls/full cups spill out and over, crashing down with an audible scream of exasperation. When I am moving 110mph and my kids are at 5, I struggle. This past week, I decided, for myself, that this had to change.

Starting this summer, I began restructuring my business, so I can be available to my kids in the morning versus rushing out the door. I have made getting to my kids’ soccer games a priority. I have made getting a hot breakfast in their stomachs in the morning my goal before drop off. For me. When I take myself out of the rush, I can be present. They are dealing with SO much after teleschooling for a year and a half. Heading up to middle school and high school, full-time sports, increased homework – and hormones! I decided it was time for me to be a soft place to land because that is what I want for me and for them.

Things fall and break, anxiety rears its nasty head, deadlines come flying and I am choosing to pause and ask how they are doing versus getting caught in the turbulent river.

This has not been achieved to perfection. It is a daily practice and intention. Pause. Listen.

Yes, sometimes (loosely stated), I fall off the wagon, but I can start my day over right there and pause.

I do know that when your teen is getting ramped up, the best thing to do is to go “numb”. Just listen. Don’t feel the need to react and most of all, fix. Just listen.

We have become so reactionary to all of the input we receive from every angle. The act of pausing allows us to create space for others. This is not something that I come by naturally. I am a doer, fixer, problem-solver by nature. I am learning that doesn’t ALWAYS have to be my job. I can leave that at work.

Through our practice of scrolling through social media posts by the mile, we have become accustomed to bouncing from emotion to emotion with the flick of a finger. HAPPY – new baby. ANGER – political post. JOY – wedding. FRUSTRATION – social justice. SAD – a death. We aren’t built to process this rainbow of emotions this quickly. Everything is built to jar our feelings and it is exhausting.

I feel like I have been trying to scroll past my kids’ emotions at times as well. Let’s MOVE through this. Well, sometimes we just need to sit with it for a minute. Put the emotion out there, let it have its moment, process why we are feeling that way, be ok with it and proceed. That isn’t the scroll and swipe behavior we are accustomed to.

I read an article the other day about a mom who stopped yelling at her kids when they broke things but instead, would immediately focus on helping the child pick up the pieces. No one feels good when they break something – or are broken. This beautiful act of swooping down with your child in a loving way to take care of a mess is so moving to me. Extend this to your partner, friend, neighbor or a stranger in the grocery store. We are all broken and could use a hand. We don’t need to be fixed, but a friendly presence sure makes harsh moments more tolerable.

Our fascination with being busy and overworked has come at a major price that I am no longer willing to pay.

As a result, the only immediacy I am attempting to focus on is holding space. It isn’t easy, but it sure feels good when I can do it.

The post A Soft Place to Land first appeared on BonBon Break.

Soooo some of these are big companies with a trial period for free, but there are lots of options to get all of you through this time.

Fitness for Kids of All Ages

ReFit Dance Fitness
https://www.youtube.com/user/ReFitRev 
Zumba type classes, but basic moves

ABC Stronger
https://www.abcstronger.com/stronger-kids
Free live online classes for kids via Zoom 

Les Mills for Kids – Born to Move
https://watch.lesmillsondemand.com/born-to-move       
First 14 days free, then $14.99 a month. All age groups. When it comes to learning a whole lot of cool moves from dance, martial arts and yoga this class is the way to go. Each 20 or 40-minute class is jam-packed with cool music and foundation fitness moves and fun games. This is sure to leave the kids (and parents) feeling great!

Beach Body on Demand
https://www.beachbodyondemand.com/programs/beachbody-yoga-studio/overview
14 days free then 3 months for $39 – a variety of workouts. Yoga, PiYo, P90X, and more.

Teen Fitness Class: Innovation Dance
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_xIjqcXFFU  
Teens – come and work out with Ella! Make the most of this break by keeping your fitness levels HIGH!

PopSugar Fitness Video Collection
https://www.youtube.com/user/popsugartvfit/videos  

BonBon Break Yoga Series Collection
https://www.bonbonbreak.com/tag/yoga/

Kim Saha Videos – Family Fitness, Pilates, Teen Classes
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXgoMN9MAU2U3rLMLWUWdJA/videos 

Soccer Training

Reel Time Coaching
https://est.reeltimecoaching.com/programs/free-weekly-training-program/

Beast Mode Soccer
https://beastmodesoccer.com
Beast Mode’s role is simple: They take rec, club or virtually any player who is not satisfied with their game, and give them all the tools and knowledge they need to achieve their soccer goals.

Coerver South Carolina https://www.facebook.com/coervercoaching.southcarolina/

Joner 1-on-1 Futball Training
https://www.facebook.com/Joner1on1/

Eddie Johnson Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/eddie_johnson7/
Daily tips and drills to help you sharpen your skills.

We will be adding to this page as resources roll in. Do you have one to add? Leave the link here.

• 6 Ways to Wear a Scarf with Your Favorite Fall Outfits
• 6 Benefits of a Gratitude Practice
• How to Green Your Wardrobe
• Yoga Apps for Beginners
• Best Yoga Equipment for Beginners

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The post Fitness for Teens during Quarantine first appeared on BonBon Break.

This boy, my girl, and I have had the best days lately! Yes, I’m shocked, too, given the state of our world these past few weeks. We are in the thick of the SARS-CoV-2 (aka coronavirus-19) pandemic, and we live in a medium-sized town in a more rural area of Washington state. 

Strangely enough, we’ve had far less arguing, better listening, and even some excitement about their “homeschool” sessions twice a day. Perhaps they are a bit more excited for their different P.E. sessions – note the P.E. photo above. Overall, there’s more hugging, more home-cooked meals, more all-around family time. Honestly speaking: it is more of what I’ve always wished for! 

It is not lost on me the amount of work that goes into creating a lesson plan each day for two children, imagine doing this for 20+! Now more than ever, am I realizing that teachers are disgustingly underpaid. We need to do something about this, America. There is simply no excuse.

In the middle of all of this, I am 4 weeks post-op from moderately extensive shoulder surgery on my dominant arm. Recovery is trying my patience because I am not one to sit still, however,  my forced immobility selfishly and unknowingly came at the perfect time in our lives.

Our family has self-quarantined in our home to keep everyone healthy. But especially to try to keep me from contracting this so that when this virus hits hard, as it’s anticipated to do in about a month or more, I will hopefully still be healthy enough to help care for sick people who need me.

Now, I’m suddenly working part-time (2 hours, computer work only) from home while recovering, since my dominant arm is basically useless for the foreseeable future. On the other hand (pun intended), I’m able to be home with my kids during these uncertain times. 

Schools across our state and many other states have entirely shut down for at least six weeks. Our governor also ordered all restaurants, bars, gyms, etc., to be closed to “flatten the curve,” or reduce transmission of this new virus, which we know very little about. Because of the recommended “social distancing,” being at least 6 feet away from others, everyone has forcibly slowed down. All of a sudden, our family calendar is the emptiest it’s been in probably… ever. 

My 10-year-old son has given me bear hugs every single morning, and at various times catching me off guard throughout our days, shouts out this playful invitation, “Jump on the trampoline with me, Mom!” He momentarily forgets that I can’t do that right now with my shoulder in this gigantic brace.

Usually, I am that Mom who gets on the trampoline and shows them the tricks I’m still able to do from my childhood gymnastics classes. But now, he is instead satisfied with me videotaping his new skills for him to watch back so he can try to perfect his trampoline technique. 

At least this gets his mind off of his abruptly halted snowboard season. He misses his friends and I miss the snowboard parents that we spent every weekend with. All of a sudden, we are all in this realm of social isolation for the greater good.

In the midst all of these uncomfortable changes, my eldest child, a 12-year-old daughter with an artistic mind and beautiful old soul, is more engaged in active play with all of us and less engaged in her usual independent favorites: reading, pencil sketching, digital art, video games or computer programming.

As a family, we have been playing more board games, cooking more meals together, folding more laundry… well, they fold/we all put away. Overall getting more things done as a family unit. We have movie nights every couple of nights complete with freshly popped popcorn or ice cream sundaes. All of these things, when done by us together, and done with more smiles on our faces and lighter moods, make easier and more pleasant work, and they are living and learning this right now.

I must admit, with less overall stressors, I am able to enjoy them more, take in the sound of their laughs, and revel in their discoveries. Our hearts are more joyful, and we have a shoulder surgery, a wonderfully understanding work family, and one “united nation under coronavirus” to thank for it.

Trust me; I hear those of you grumbling in the background. I am very aware that not every parent can stay home right now, as all of our schools are closed because of this pandemic. Ask anyone who really knows me; I’ve had M A N Y times throughout motherhood whereby I felt that “mom guilt” that so nastily creeps in and steals away our peace as I am usually the one called away from home to work in the hospital or clinic as I am a healthcare worker. And even with this pandemic, my time will come.

My shoulder needs to heal for a few more weeks. That is right about the time when this virus is expected to peak in our little town. That is when I will lose this beautiful freedom of being home and I will be called in to screen many and care for some very sick people. But not yet! This is MY time. This silver lining is mine. This time, I get those memories I’ve SO longed for as a full-time healthcare worker, even sometimes the solo breadwinner. 

So the fact that these kids of mine are getting along the best they have in years, they’re hanging out with me more than they have in months, and I’m less stressed than I’ve been in God knows how long… I count this chaotic time in our lives as a blessing for us!

I fully recognize and have deep aches in my own mama’s heart for those of you who are unable to be with your kids right now. I hear you. I feel it, as I, too, speak from experience.

It’s times like these whereby your kids will learn more independence, self-resilience, and creativity, being that you’re not with them each day during this new change in everyone’s lives. My kids have had their fair share of such independent challenges, from the time of my Hospitalist job where I was required to work sometimes ten, 24-hour consecutive shifts in addition to my regular 40-hour week clinic job.

I was the Mom who sometimes got called right back into work after just having come home from being there for 18 hours or longer, who missed some family meals, who missed certain school events because “we really need you back at the hospital.” Then through our long, super not fun divorce, as well as scattered throughout the years of just overall being MY kids. The kids of a Nurse Practitioner who even still has to take 24-hour emergency calls one week a year. My kids get it. They’ve had to. It has not been easy for any of us.

Take a minute to close your eyes and focus on the smiling faces of your children. Let the happiness you see in their eyes give you strength in knowing that they will learn, grow, and become better versions of themselves because of these trying times. I promise you. I speak from experience. They’ll be better off, and so will you. You’ve got this!

“You never realize how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.” -Mr. Bob Marley

#wewillsurvivethistogether

Meet Kimberlee: Kimberlee is a 40-something-year-old Mom of two, engaged to the love of her life, and is excited to soon add the title of “stepmother” to her fiancé’s eight-year-old son. Kimberlee has worked as a nurse practitioner specializing in family medicine for the past 15 years, as well as a college nursing instructor. Before that, she was a pediatric and adult E.R./trauma nurse at a level one trauma center in Metropolitan Los Angeles, where she was born and raised. She’s also a certified public health nurse. She enjoys backpacking trips with her family, running, and sipping coffee with friends.

More from BonBon Break

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  A Soft Place to Land
  Fight or flight. This is where we have been living for the past year. Juggling kids, a business, a marriage, teleschooling, and a pandemic has put my nervous system on… Read more: A Soft Place to Land
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  Things to Stop Saying to your Teenage Daughter (and What to Say Instead)
  Parenting is part wisdom, part experience, and part tissue memory. We’ve all experienced that moment when we open our mouths, and our mother (or grandmother) comes out. We’ve all said… Read more: Things to Stop Saying to your Teenage Daughter (and What to Say Instead)
• 
  11 Ways To Raise A Grateful Child
  “Thank you for making dinner, Momma.” “Thank you for my new toy.” “Thank you for reading to me.” “Little Brother, thanks for the balloon. Thanks for getting my favorite color.”… Read more: 11 Ways To Raise A Grateful Child
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  How To Stop Kids’ Arguing While Still Letting Them Be Heard
    by Ellie of Musing Momma I’m pretty sure that my 7-year-old snuck off at some point in the night and took classes at Harvard Law. How else can I… Read more: How To Stop Kids’ Arguing While Still Letting Them Be Heard
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  I Had to Stop Yelling
  Last week, I called my husband with tears in my eyes and guilt on my back. “I can’t do this anymore. I quit!” My vision of the perfect summer with my… Read more: I Had to Stop Yelling
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  6 Ways to Wear a Scarf with Your Favorite Fall Outfits
  It’s that wonderful time of year when you get to bring the boots out of the closet and start to anticipate the time for cozy scarves and sweaters. Fall is… Read more: 6 Ways to Wear a Scarf with Your Favorite Fall Outfits

The post Little Blessings from Social Distancing first appeared on BonBon Break.

6 Tips to Help with Isolation During Shelter in Place

1. Stick to a Schedule

We are waking up at the same time every day and doing our usual morning routine. This morning, my daughter asked, “Can you do my hair for school?” It almost brought me to my knees, but YES, I can do your hair for school.

I am SO grateful to the teachers who are providing structure for my kids’ days right now. TRULY grateful.

We are all in bed at our normal bed time, too. Sleep for sanity is how I am thinking about it right now. I think a full night’s sleep is the best self-care I can do.

2. Get Outside

This is a good one. It is amazing how beneficial just going outside is for me. This does not mean you should head to the spot where 100 other people are choosing to go. It can be a walk around the block. Knock on a neighbor’s windows and wave and blow a kiss. We did this outside my dad’s house the other day and we need to do it again. It just FEELS good.

3. Do Something Creative

Find a creative outlet. Hint: Words with Friends or Facebook do not count. Turn up the music and dance or sing (Mama’s Morning Groove Playlist). Start a project (OMG, look at this puppy knitting kit!) Knitting, painting, dancing in your kitchen, drawing, coloring, play-doh, even make something with your egg cartons! Hangout with Mo Willems and learn how to draw. So cool.

By the way, you don’t have to do ALL OF THESE THINGS. One is fine. In our house, I am knitting and working in my garden. The kids are jumping on “Just Dance” daily. My daughter is knitting and my son is on his keyboard. LEGOS are out and all over. See where your family members gravitate during this unstructured time. It is nice to have the time space to do this.

4. Laugh

It’s ok to laugh right now. Lately, I have found myself letting go of my normal routine of pushing through to the next task / responsibility and finding the funny in things. (Apologies to our office neighbor downstairs who had to endure our jumps into the new bean bag – slo mo video is hysterical!) Being silly with my kids is the antidote to just about everything.

Our moment of belly aching laughter came when my daughter found a Strawberry Shortcake pajama shirt with frills on the bottom from when she was 5. Everyone in the family proceeded to try it on. This might sound ridiculous to you, but it had us crying.

5. Do Something You Don’t Want to Do

THIS! Ok, we could do Easy Street and stay in our pajamas for ?? straight days, but I know this isn’t really good for my brain. Monday- Friday I am getting dressed (I am always in whatever is nearby on the weekends).

That something you are struggling to do might be taking a shower, cleaning out a pantry, doing some yoga or meditation, or getting your garden ready. Do it. You will be grateful you did.

6. Move

This sounds so simple, but it is REALLY easy to stay in one place and get fixed to your screen right now. Moving with my kids and can EASILY roll into the numbers listed above. with one stone.

After feeling pretty tense a couple of days ago, I grabbed my daughter and went for a 20 minute stroll- through the parking lot, down the street, back up the street and twice more through the parking lot. It cleared my head, we laughed, talked and connected.

Something I am attempting to do right now is to only look at the news once a day. Not first thing in the morning and not before I go to bed. It doesn’t set me up for good thoughts either way.

Finally, alongside the news, I am being VERY mindful about what I am watching on TV. Adios drama, I need something lighter right now.

While scrolling through Netflix, I almost clicked through on “Pandemic”. Nope. I do NOT need to do that to myself right now. I am working hard to protect my thoughts because…

Be kind to yourself.

Fight to stay present.

Protect your thoughts.

You’ve got this.

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The post 6 Tips to Help with Isolation During Shelter in Place first appeared on BonBon Break.

Turn on your television, and you will see our oceans and its inhabitants under man-made threat (over-consumption and corporate greed); fires blazing and destroying acres of forests, smog in major cities choking its citizens; hurricanes taking homes and lives, and many people turning to veganism after watching Netflix’s The Game Changers.

Change is clearly needed, and it needs to start with all of us. If one person makes one change at a time, no matter how small, they can make a difference. With the new year approaching, there are a few ways you can do your part towards ethical living. 

Go Meatless

If you’re already doing Meatless Mondays, good for you! Now, try to take that a little further and start cutting down on meat consumption on a daily basis. There is a misconception that vegetarians and vegans only eat salads. Sure, they do but they also cook up a storm using beans, legumes, grains, vegetables, and fruit. Fresh, plant-based food is not only healthy for you, but also delicious. One of my favorites is this hearty One Pot Creamy Hummus Pasta and I also love this collection of Vegetarian Instant Pot recipes.

Make Your Own Gifts or Shop Ethically

Do not shop online or make a beeline to the nearest store for gifts this coming year. Toys are generally in plastic packaging, generating more waste that our environment does not need. Make your own! If you are crafty or up for a new experience, try making your own candles and soaps, bake cookies, sew pretty tea towels, make jewelry, or if you have time, knit your special someone a warm sweater! If you are craft-challenged, consider shopping ethically. Head to Ocean Junkies for ocean-friendly products for yourself, home, and kids; The Little Market for homewares like baskets and candles; Thrive Market for wine, coffee, natural bath, and cleaning products; Hope Made in the World for gorgeous artisan-woven bags, and Green Toys are made from 100% recycled materials. 

Donate to Climate Change Causes or an Animal Shelter

Here’s a radical idea: instead of gifting an object, consider donating to a climate change cause on behalf of your family member or friend. However, before you do so, do your research. Ensure that you check out how the charity disburses its donations.  Go to Charity Navigator to look for reputable organizations where they evaluate charities and rate them. 

Adopt, Don’t Buy

If you want to surprise your children with their first dog or cat, why not head to the nearest pet shelter instead of a pet store? Look for no-kill shelters such as Best Friends Animal Society or do a quick search for your nearest shelter. 

Use Ethical Technology

Making conscious changes to be more ethical means doing research on the Internet. If you’re looking for a Google alternative, why not try an ethical search engine such as Ekoru? Ekoru donates part of their revenue from ad clicks to organizations such as Big Blue Ocean Cleanup. Their servers are housed in eco-friendly data centres to ensure that user searches have a minimal impact on the environment. There is a comprehensive list of ethical technological solutions at Ethical.net.

Waste not, want not. You can make the new year (and every year after!) an ethical one. Make a difference today!

About the Author: Alison Lee is a mother of four, writer, and editor. Her writing is featured extensively on various websites such as The Washington Post, Scary Mommy, The Huffington Post, Everyday Family, BonBon Break, Mamalode, Feminine Collective, and many more. Alison is the co-editor of Multiples Illuminated which has published two books on twins and triplets and her essays have been published in two anthologies. A vegan, Alison loves spending time in nature on long hikes. 

The post How to Make Ethical Choices for Your Family in 2020 first appeared on BonBon Break.

Then it came up again and the coffee fanatic in the house said, “Let’s give it a go!” Low and behold we played with the idea and BLENDING it is key. As in, don’t just drop it in your cuppa joe and expect a miracle.

This recipe for Winter Morning Bulletproof Coffee will make two standard cups of coffee – or for my lovely partner, half a “cup”.

Tips:

No worries if you don’t have a French Press! You can simply use 10 oz of fresh brewed coffee from a drip maker or coffee pod and pour that right into your blender! (The blender is important for Bulletproof Coffee as it will help whip everything together, fully incorporating the flavors and frothing everything up. 

This post includes affiliate links for products mentioned in this recipe.

Ingredients:

• 10oz really hot water (straight from your electric tea kettle is best!)
• ¼ cup whole coffee beans (or about 3.5 tablespoons ground coffee)
• ¾ cup cream or coffee creamer of your choice (for a vegan option, I find the Silk Almond Creamer Vanilla is a perfect fit)
• 1.5 tablespoons unsalted organic butter or vegan butter (I like Earth Balance’s European Style 
• 1 tablespoon unrefined coconut oil
  

If you need a French Press, this is a newer model of the one used here. 

Directions for Bulletproof Coffee:

• Grind the coffee beans until fine.

• Pour into the bottom of the French Press.

• Carefully pour the really hot water over the ground coffee.

• Set the plunger into place and then let the water and coffee sit together for about 3 minutes. 

• While that is steeping, add the butter, coconut oil and cream or coffee creamer to your blender.

• Then slowly press down on your French Press plunger until it is all the way at the bottom.

• Transfer the coffee into the blender, add the lid and then blend on high for 15 to 30 seconds 

Pour the rich creamy coffee into your favorite mugs and enjoy!

Recipes to enjoy with your warm cuppa Bulletproof Coffee:

• Browned Butter Apple Bread
• Maple Pecan Bran Muffins
• Gluten Free Blueberry Muffins

The post Quick Winter Morning Bulletproof Coffee first appeared on BonBon Break.

20 Minute Beginner Yoga Routines

Yoga For Complete Beginners – 20 Minute Home Yoga Workout!

This video by yoga with Adriene is an amazing 20 Minute home yoga workout for beginners. This workout is a great way to begin building the foundation you need to continue on with your yoga journey. Grab your mat, change into some comfortable clothes and get started. 

Slow Stretch Yoga for Flexibility & Sore Muscles – Fully Body

If you are struggling with sore muscles and flexibility, this video helps you to work on your full body. Stretching your hamstrings, hips, and shoulders, these slow movements will help to build your flexibility and stretch your sore muscles in 20 minutes. 

Yoga for Beginners (20 minute Yoga) Beginner Yoga for Flexibility | Sarah Beth Yoga

This 20-minute video is perfect for beginners to start with. Ideal for those who want to increase their flexibility and familiarize themselves further with yoga, you can practice this video 3 times a week to help you become more comfortable with your routine. 

Yoga For Bedtime – 20 Minute Practice

This beautiful yoga for bedtime routine from yoga with Adriene is an amazing way to de-stress before bedtime. Perfect for beginners, this video will help to reduce the feelings of anxiety, stress or tension within your body and mind, leading to a great night’s sleep. If you want to wake up feeling refreshed, this is the beginner yoga practice for you. 

Morning Yoga for Flexibility (20 minute Yoga) Full Body Yoga Stretch | Sarah Beth Yoga

This 20-minute yoga video is perfect for your morning wake up. As a beginner you will find that this quick standing sequence gives you the boost you need each morning. Get an effective full body stretch, preparing you for a busy day ahead.

Healthy Body Yoga – Yoga With Adriene

If you are looking to establish a regular at home yoga routine, this video from yoga with Adriene is sure to hit the mark. This yoga workout builds a healthy and strong body while helping you to connect with your inner self. Not only will you be working your entire body, it only takes 20 minutes. 

These 20 Minute beginner yoga routines are perfect for every part of the day. Not only will they help you to build you yoga repertoire but it will help you to familiarize yourself with several different whole body moves and stretches. Get started on your yoga journey with these effective videos.

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The post 20 Minute Beginner Yoga Routines first appeared on BonBon Break.

You may be able to avoid impulse-buying by shopping online. But that won’t solve the problem of your kids getting targeted with back-to-school buying messages through websites, online games, Facebook updates, and even YouTube.

Plus, social shopping — wherein kids spread the message about their favorite products to other kids online — is gaining momentum with marketers. Help your kids learn to recognize — and avoid clicking on — these types of promotions.

Always keep your family’s budget and practical needs in mind as you shop. If your kids are interested in a product, challenge them to comparison shop and list the pros and cons of an item. Help them figure out what they really need — as opposed to what they want (and may get tired of soon). If you have the teachers’ school supplies list, pay attention to the “no” items — for example, why buy a fancy calculator if they’re not allowed in school? Encourage kids to join their peers in spending their own money (which, according to the NRF’s survey, averages about $34.40 per kid).

Beyond that, nurture a healthy sense of skepticism — what we call “ad savvy” — so your kids learn to view media critically.

This post was syndicated with permission from Common Sense Media

The post How do I avoid back-to-school marketing madness? first appeared on BonBon Break.

Now that I have kids, the idea of sailing through life without a purse seems impossible.  My wallet bulges with insurance cards, library cards, and other necessities.  I carry two car keys, three bike keys, and a container of hand sanitizer.  I carry a checkbook and chap stick and a small bottle of Advil.  When I clean out my purse, I can usually find a small wadded bag filled with the dust of pulverized goldfish crackers.  And, of course, there’s always a Sharpie.

My husband has kept a Sharpie tucked in his pocket for as long as I’ve known him. I’ve watched him use it in a million different ways over the years — to label his science experiments in the inter-tidal, to jot down part numbers as he’s building equipment, to change his name on conference badges since they always display his given name rather than the one people might recognize.

It didn’t take long for me to start borrowing his Sharpie, and once I finally started carrying a purse, it seemed only obvious that I would tuck one inside. Whenever I pull it out of my purse to use, other moms marvel at what an on-the-ball, organized mama I am.

In truth, I’m usually just barely holding it together, so their amazement always make me laugh.  Having a Sharpie on hand means I don’t have to plan ahead for the following situations:

1. Keeping track of personal items.   It’s a universal law that kids will lose track of their possessions.  They get hot on the playground and take off their sweatshirts or they set down their backpacks at the library before running off to look for books. Once they set something down, they just forget about it.  Here’s the deal, though:  I’m forgetful, too.  I almost never remember to label my kids’ stuff before we leave the house. If I have a Sharpie in my purse, though, I can bust it out at school and add a name and phone number like I did the other day when my daughter wore her brand new coat to school for the first time.

2. Reducing waste.  If you’ve ever cleaned up after a kid birthday party, you’ve picked up a million mostly full juice boxes/water bottles/plastic cups. Kids seem to take one sip of a drink and then run off to play.  They set their beverages down and forget all about them.  When they’re thirsty again, they just grab another.  It’s so easy to reduce this waste by writing kids’ names on drinks. Once kids can write for themselves, they love to label their own drinks.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve taken out a pen and helped kids label their cups at various events.

3. Entertaining kids.  I have a small purse, and I don’t keep a full compliment of markers in it for my kids to use when we’re out and about. Sharpie will write on anything, though, and kids love to use them. Just make sure your kids know to put a magazine or paper bag under the doodling so it won’t bleed through onto the table or floor.  I’m lucky enough to have the sort of kids I can trust not to start writing on the walls with permanent marker, but I recognize that this isn’t universal.  Please don’t hate me if this one doesn’t work out for you.

4. Helping your kids find you if they get lost.  The first time we went to Disneyland with our kids, we Sharpied our cell phone numbers on their arms.  “If we get separated,” we told them, “find a mom and ask her to to call us.” We started doing this whenever found ourselves in crowded, bustling venues.  On multiple occasions, other parents have looked on in puzzlement as we scribbled with permanent marker on our children. Almost always, though, as soon as they see the phone number taking shape, their jaws drop.  And then they ask to borrow the Sharpie. I love this simple, easy safety-precaution that doesn’t require any fancy equipment or expensive tools. And it works! The one time we lost track of our youngest daughter for a few minutes, we retraced our steps and found her holding out her arm to a mom who was madly punching the digits into her cell phone. We got there before she even had time to call us.

If the idea of writing on your children doesn’t convince you to tuck a Sharpie in your purse immediately, maybe this last one will do it for you.

5. Keeping track of your wine glass.  Like a little kid at a party, I just can’t hang on to my drink.  It’s too hard to hold a plate and feed myself and sip wine and mingle all at the same time. Bringing personal wine charms would make me feel like a lush (and require some advance planning), but it’s easy to label my glass with a Sharpie if need I to set it down for a few minutes. Because I’m a good party guest, I always remove my name when I’m finished — simply scribble over your name with your Sharpie and wipe the surface clean with a paper napkin.  Cheers!

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 This post was written by Suzanne Cowden exclusively for BonBon Break Media, LLC.

The post 5 Reasons to Keep a Sharpie in Your Purse first appeared on BonBon Break.

If that hasn’t given you enough warm fuzzy feelings, he also stopped by the elementary school a couple of months ago to talk to the students about kindness. He even focused on the importance of siblings being kind to one another by sharing a story about how supportive his own brother has always been. My kids were sitting in the audience and took it all in. Thanks for that one, we bring it up all of the time. (Not that my kids EVER squabble with each other. Ever. **HA!**)

An Opportunity to Meet Chris Pratt

An added bonus, Chris Pratt is teaming up with Special Olympics Washington to help raise funds and awareness for 17,500 athletes in his home state of Washington. Click on this CrowdRise link for a chance to walk the red carpet at Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom with Chris Pratt and to help support the athletes. My kid would do ANYTHING to hang out with Chris, so ya, I entered. Also, he would need a chaperone, right?

If you win…you and a friend will (friend!? YES! That’s the chaperone bit!):

• Attend the premiere of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom with Chris Pratt!
• Go to the after party
• Meet and take selfies with Chris
• Get flown out to LA and put up in a hotel

This post isn’t sponsored or anything like that, we are just celebrating a good guy and a GREAT cause, so enter here.

If you are looking for a little more INSPIRATION to head your day in the right direction, check these out.

The post Chris Pratt Surprises His Hometown Team first appeared on BonBon Break.

Well, being the Sensible Moms that we are, we first turned to the law to figure out the “when.” Easy black and white answer, right? Noooo. Only a couple of states have laws setting the age at which children can be left home alone. For most other states, the local department of human services or the child welfare agency can provide general guidelines for your region.

Guidelines mean you ultimately have to make your own decision. Even though we live in Maryland, one of the few states that have a law setting the age, it didn’t do us much good because it’s eight years old. Eight? Really? That seems way too young to us.

So what it comes down to is evaluating EACH child for his or her readiness, the same thing you have to do with every single aspect of parenting. Why aren’t there ever any easy answers? At least there are simple questions to start you on the right path.

1. How responsible is your child?

• Can your child be counted on to complete homework and chores without being reminded?
• Is your child conscientious in following instructions and rules?
• Does your child usually make good decisions or is he or she prone to taking risks?

2. How does your child react to unexpected situations?

• Does your child panic or keep a level head?
• Does your child give up quickly and turn to you for solutions?

3. Does your child have first aid training?

• Has your child taken a babysitter course or some other Red Cross first aid training or been a part of a scouting first aid program?
• Can your child recite what to do in certain emergency scenarios without checking their notes?
• Does your child know where to find the reference materials from his or her first aid course?

These were the litmus test for us, but for further things to consider, we checked out Leaving Your Child Home Alone from our local children’s hospital.

It is ultimately your decision, but what about when you decide that your precious offspring is ready to stay home alone? You can’t just say, “See ya on the flip side!”

To that end, here’s what we decided — based on research, our guts, and good ol’ trial and error — our kids needed to know. We do like to say that we make the mistakes so that you don’t have to.

1. First Aid

This one is huge. The only way to ward off panic is to arm them with the knowledge of what to do in an emergency. Ellen had both girls take the Red Cross Babysitting course before she even thought about leaving them home alone. Erin’s daughter took the babysitting course, too, but her boys are all in scouting, and they all had their first aid merit badge before they stayed home alone.

When and how to call 911 goes hand in hand with this knowledge. Emphasize that in the case of a real emergency–such as fire or injury–to call 911 even before they call you. Make sure you give examples of when NOT to call and NEVER call 911 as a joke.

2. Who to call for help

As we mentioned, not all emergencies require 911 – like when the toilet overflows. For times such as these, there should be a list of relatives and trusted neighbors they can contact if they can’t reach you. This list should be prominently and permanently placed or programmed into their phones.

3. Your fire safety plan

You should have a fire safety plan, and they should have it memorized. Make sure they know if a smoke detector or a carbon monoxide monitor starts to alarm, their priority is to get out of the house, and only then go to a designated spot to make the emergency call. Physically go over escape routes and locations of escape ladders with them. Make sure they know to stay low and to “stop, drop, and roll.” They need to know your safe meet-up spot.

Furthermore, if you live in an area with frequent natural dangers like tornadoes, make sure they know what to do if the siren sounds.

4. How to use your alarm system

Here, you can learn from Ellen’s mistake. She drilled her daughter on how to turn it off when she got home from school. She neglected to tell her what to do if she failed to disarm it. Let’s just say the sheriff may have shown up.

5. How to shut off utilities

Let’s get back to that overflowing toilet. Their phone call to you should be to confirm they did everything correctly. They should know how to shut the water off to each toilet and sink, and where the main water shut-off is in your house. If you have natural gas, they should know where to shut that off, too.

6. Where the fuse box is located

They should know how to tell if a breaker is tripped and how to reset it. They should be aware that things like overloading a circuit with appliances can cause the breaker to trip, and these things should be unplugged before resetting the breaker.

7. What to do if the lights go out

Whether it be from a tripped breaker or an overall power outage, they need to know where the flashlights and batteries are kept. If a storm pops up, they should be instructed to think ahead and grab the flashlights before the power goes out. Under no circumstances should they use candles.

8. What appliances are they allowed to use

This encompasses how your kids are allowed to feed themselves, too. If they don’t use the stove and oven regularly when you’re home, it’s not a good idea to have them use it when you’re away.

Using the microwave is a safer bet, but make sure they know not to put metal in there and be very specific: no aluminum foil. It’s a good idea to go over all of the appliances in the kitchen: a toaster used improperly can cause a fire, and a blender with a poorly secured top can tie dye your ceiling. You need to be clear about your policy on kitchen knives, too.

If your kids are on the younger side, you probably don’t want them to use things that produce heat such as space heaters, curling irons/ flat irons, and steamers. We would say household irons too, but who the heck uses them anymore? Oh, and be clear that no power tools are to be used. Ellen once had a babysitter drill a hole on her kitchen table because she was making shell necklaces with her girls. Yeah.

9. Who not to call

For us, they are not allowed to invite over friends or call to have any food delivered. It’s not a good idea to ask a stranger to your door.

10. What to do if the doorbell rings

Making a rule never to open the door is almost a no-brainer, but should your child answer through the door? This is a tricky one. Ellen was never a fan of having her kids calling through the door, “My parents are busy” because it seemed equivalent to saying, “I’m home alone.” Therefore, she has always told them not to respond to the door. However, there is some fear about thieves knocking on doors to target houses to rob by seeing who is not home. If you have a barking dog, you have a pretty good live-in deterrent. If you don’t, did you know they make electronic barking dog alarms?

You also need to take the “don’t open the door to strangers” to a very specific place. Tell your kids never to respond to “Your parents are hurt, I need you to come with me now.” This is by far, a more common tactic than “Want some candy?”. Reassure them that a trusted relative or friend would collect them if something were wrong. Even if a police officer comes to the door telling them to open it, instruct them to tell the officer that they will call the police department for confirmation before opening the door.

11. What to do if the phone rings

The easiest thing by far is to let it go to voicemail, but if you do have your child answer it to make sure they never say they are home alone. They should also never identify themselves.

12. Are they allowed outside

This depends on your neighborhood and the lay of the land. Streams, creeks, and pools are completely off limits. They should know how to handle the dog needing to go out and what to do if a pet runs off.

13. Technology rules

You need to be very clear about how and when they can use the TV, computer, and i-Every-Little-Thing. There are programs and apps to control usage if you need help.

Staying home alone is just one more step in the dance of growing up. With preparation and practice, you can all do this!

Head to the Family Room

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 This post was syndicated with permission to BonBon Break Media, LLC.

The post What Your Kids Need to Know Before Staying Home Alone first appeared on BonBon Break.

Interestingly enough, soon after the emails began flowing in, my kids started up with a mean case of the “I wants.” “I want a doll.” “I want more Pokemon cards.” “I want a new bike.” “I want that dress in the window.” “I want all the Lego sets!” I want! I want! I want! We want it on our Christmas Wish Lists!

In the meantime, I was reading about life after the Nepal earthquake and about Syrian refugees. 

This was followed by a trip to Costa Rica. During our travels, we visited children in an orphanage, which has been created an ongoing dialog in our home during birthdays, early morning cuddles, and…yes, wish lists.

It was all just too much, and the vortex of neediness broke me down. We weren’t going to do Christmas the same way this year. We cannot WANT this year; we need to give.

I sat the kids down, and we had a little chat. For my son’s birthday, his sister chose to get him a mini Foosball table, and it was his favorite gift. He didn’t ask for it, she just KNEW it was something he would really like because they had played on one at a friend’s house, and she was right. Last Christmas, my son chose a Little Mermaid Lego set for his sister, and he was so excited to give it to her because he just KNEW she would love it, and he wanted to teach her to build Legos, and he was right. 

Their favorite gifts were the ones that weren’t on their lists; they were the gifts that were chosen for them. A lot of thought went into what the other person liked and  what would be fun for them to engage in together. 

My proposal to them for this holiday season was to create “Giving Lists” instead of wish lists. This week, we are sitting down and writing a list of all of the people we want to give gifts to, and they are allowed to pick one, low-priced item to request from Santa. We discussed that it wouldn’t be fair to all the kids of the world if we asked for something really expensive. Santa has a budget, you know. 

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Believe it or not, my kids went for it immediately, and there have been unexpected results. The “I wants” have reduced tremendously. We are exchanging lots of sideways glances with each other and knowing smiles when we hear a family member talking enthusiastically about something. We are really having fun with this. My littlest even brought up the fact that we don’t have to buy something for everyone, “We could make them something special that they would like.” BINGO!

Christmas morning gift opening will be less about which items were received from personal wish lists and more about the excitement of seeing our gifts being opened by our family members. Swoon. 

With the state of the world as it is, we are also going to decide, as a family, on a non-profit to sponsor this holiday season. This is going to be a research project for the kids. I have already introduced them to WaterAid and the incredibly important work they are doing around the world. Bring us your suggestions. It’s time to bring the focus away from our wants and needs and to learn how to acknowledge the needs of others during the Season of Giving.

I would love to hear your thoughts. Do you think you could swing this with your family? What changes would you make?

READ MORE FROM VAL:

• You’re Grounded and Now It’s Going to Sting {Printable}
• Why Your Kid Doesn’t Deserve an “A”
• 20 Apps You Can Play With Your Kids

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• ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas: Parent Version
• 10 Reasons Why NOT to Do Elf on the Shelf
• Redefining Elf on the Shelf 

READ our theme posts from SIMPLIFY , INSPIRE and CONNECT

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The post Sorry Kids, No Christmas Wish Lists This Year {Printable} first appeared on BonBon Break.