Playing Tag on the Playground

~:: Julie DeNeen::~

Getting down and dirty with my kids is not something I do often. I am the parent who cooks them good food, cleans their rooms, helps with homework and boo boos– that sort of thing. My husband is the one who plays games or constructs elaborate forts to be used in an epic battle.

I was feeling guilty about my lack of playing, so the other day I took them to the playground with the express goal of interacting with them– no sitting on the bench staring at my iphone or chatting with other bored and exhausted mothers.

I expected to bond with them. I expected to feel delighted at their excitement over Mommy going down the slide and crossing the monkey bars.

But what I did not expect was to have a revelation. An epiphany about how time fast goes, how I am aging yes– but how fast my kids are growing up. The afternoon at the playground forced me to laugh at myself and take a few minutes, to act like a kid.

ABOUT JULIE DENEEN:  Julie DeNeen is a full-time freelance writer, blogger, and author. She runs the Fabulous Blogging  website along with an actively and lively blogging group of nearly 100 members. She’s also the author of a popular blog called Life According to Julie, which chronicles her life as a mom and wanna-be writer. When not in front of her computer, she enjoys spending time with her three kids and husband, her plethora of cats, reading anything she can get her hands on, Downton Abbey, and of course- food in any form it takes.

Follow Julie on Facebook | Twitter

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Happy Thirty-Whatever

~:: Djibouti Jones ::~

Tomorrow I’ll be thirty-five. Zabuur (Psalm) 90:12 says, “Teach us to number our days aright, that we might gain a heart of wisdom.” So here I am, numbering my days, perhaps not aright-ly, but numbered nonetheless.

I eat like I’m five – jelly beans from Lucy’s stash, cookies, chocolate chips from the bag mom sent from Minnesota, peanut butter licked off a spoon, and no carrots. Unless I’m trying to set a good example or Tom makes me. Stinker.

So I run like I’m twenty-five – lots of miles and the belief that my body is indestructible – but at the pace of someone who is sixty-five.

ABOUT RACHEL: I was raised in the Christian west, now I live in the Muslim east. Expat, runner, author, mother of three, wife to one, Faith-er. I write and pray for peace.

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It is said that hindsight is 20/20. What is generally left unsaid is that hindsight often comes standard with a virtual and swift kick in your former idealized rear as all of the things you thought you knew are not at all what you expected. This is the case throughout life. Your doctor is a hack until you fail to read an article they published in a medical journal without looking at a dictionary every three words. You look on with disbelief as an Olympic skater struggles to land a triple lutz and then you fall flat on your face on a patch of ice while walking to your car. Yes, the view from the bench is always clear.  We have it all figured out until the coach actually puts us in the game.  There is no denying that we know nothing once experience levels the playing field of dreams constructed only in our head.

Never did I fall from grace faster than the day I became a parent. As I lay in a hospital bed with a baby and no clue, I realized I had no idea what I was doing. This new knowledge came with perfect former knowledge that, indeed, I never knew what I was doing. Those days I sat on park benches and bus seats, running parenting commentary in my head, flashed before my eyes. I was a perfect parent before I had kids. Smug, self-righteous and 100% wrong. I give you my apology and cautionary tale in one, Haiku for Future Parents.

ABOUT BETHANY: She is a writer and the proud mother to four, young Vikings. She is the author of the parenting blog, Bad Parenting Moments and the chronically unread poetry blog, Room for Cream. She can often be found searching for socks, keys, discount non-perishables and a bathroom lock her children can not pick. Bethany’s work has been published on several parenting sites and, when they’ll have her, in old fashioned black and white in her local, independent newspaper. Her children are unimpressed.

Connect with Bad Parenting Moments! You can throw tomatoes at Bethany on Facebook. You can chit-chat with her on Twitter and, re-pin her barely edible recipes on Pinterest.

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You plan the perfect pitch in your head. You run it by a few trusted people. You write and rewrite your pitch. You sit on it for a few days to make sure that it feels right. You send your pitch and you wait.

And wait.

You hear nothing back after a week, so you do the right thing and send a polite follow up email.

And you get this – “Thank you for your submission, but it’s not the right fit for us.”

Period. The end. No other explanation. You look at the rest of their site and think that what you were offering was absolutely the perfect fit. You doubt yourself. You suffer a blow to your confidence. Again. You shout, “Can’t I catch a freaking break??”

You will want to curl up in a fetal position and eat copious amounts of chocolate (or whatever ‘bad’ food makes you feel better). Don’t. There are better ways to handle rejection.

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I like to think I’m a well-mannered woman, but I’m finding that the Internet and social media are turning me into a bit of a boor. The thing is, there are some manners we’ve been taught since childhood that we can’t always apply in the age of social media. Do we need a separate set of rules of etiquette for the Internet and for real life?  I think so.

READ THESE NEXT:

• I’m Tired of All the Noise on the Internet
• 20 Apps You Can Play With Your Kids
• Why Self-Improvement Ideas Never Work

ABOUT CHINIE:  Chinie is a writer and former teacher based in the Philippines, who recently discovered that she could also draw. She blogs (almost) daily at Fab After Forty and twice a month on Rappler.com about life and the pursuit of fabulousness. When she’s not working or online (or both), she can usually be found lazing around in bed with her Kindle, or her husband. (or both)

Follow Chinie on Twitter or Facebook.

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 20 Things I Learned In College

~:: Funny is Family ::~

When I began college as a fresh faced eighteen year old, I was excited to learn. I imagined late night study sessions, professors with tweed jackets and vast knowledge, intramural sports, and football games. I did not expect daily dining hall nacho bars, way too much time spent on the wrong boy, and tampon toothbrushes.

I knew I would come out of college a different person, but the experiences that impacted me the most were a surprise. Those four years taught me Econ, Psych, and Women’s Studies; but they also taught me the value of friendship, the importance of spare change, and the necessity of a bar name.

ABOUT AMY: Amy and her husband made two kids, a three year old girl and a five year old boy. She does not consider herself a housewife, as she owns no pearls and only one apron. Amy has been featured on BlogHer and Aiming Low, and is a contributor to the new released anthology, I Just Want To Pee Alone. You can find her laughing at the absurdity of parenting on Facebook and Twitter, and pinning things she’ll never do on Pinterest. She writes embarrassing stories about herself (and her family) at Funny Is Family.

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But, sometimes friends become “frenemies” for no reason whatsoever.  One day you’re gossiping about someone’s atrocious outfit and the next your “friend” is bad mouthing you all over school and the social media.  It’s one of the biggest heartbreaks you can experience – because this is your soul sister.  She’s telling people your secrets and using your insecurities against you.  It’s painful as an adult. But, when you’re in high school – there’s no escaping the torment in those narrow lockered hallways.

The good news is that high school doesn’t last forever.

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My Daughter is a Japanese Boy Scout

~:: CliffMama ::~

My 18 year old daughter had a life changing experience in Japan as a high school exchange student. She joined the boy scouts (it’s co-ed there) and participated in a 100 kilometer race with her scout troop! The lazy teenager I used to know was gone. Instead, on the other side of the planet, my daughter was giving herself new challenges and actually finding the strength against all odds to succeed. Parents can say over and over again that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to, but sometimes your kids have to live through an experience like she did before they believe it. In her own words, she describes her experience of the 21 hour and 64+ mile race that transformed her outlook on life.

ABOUT JANNETTE: Since 1981, Jannette’s passion has been rock climbing. So after having children, she incorporated them into her climbing life as well. She formed a local family climbing group as a way for climbers with kids to find other families to climb with. With over 80 families in the group, she’s learned a lot about climbing with kids and created a blog about that subject on cliffmama.com which also features information for visitors to the Gunks in New York, where she climbs. Now awesome self-assured teenagers, she and her daughters share a special bond and they would rather be climbing with Mom than going to a shopping mall. When not climbing, Jannette is on the board of directors for the non-profit Gunks Climbers’ Coalition and works at a digital marketing agency.

Follow Jannette on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Google+

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Judge Not.

~:: Honest Mom ::~

What would you do if you told someone that you had a medical issue — and they responded by telling you that you were weak, pathetic, and should never have had children?

Unimaginable, right?

Well, that’s the kind of talk that moms with depression encounter. Including me.

And I’m not going to take that kind of nasty judgement lying down.

Watch JD this Tuesday (March 5th) on Katie Couric’ show, “Katie”, discussing the stigma of depression.

ABOUT JD: JD Bailey is the creator of Honest Mom, where she blogs about raising her young daughters and managing her depression. With real candor and a good dose of humor, JD writes to connect with other moms and create a space for women to both vent and laugh.

JD is an outspoken voice in the ongoing conversation about women and depression. Her ultimate goal is to help lift the stigma of depression while helping other moms to feel less alone in their battles with the chronic illness.

You can find JD pretty much any time of day on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, or Google+.

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3 Types of Expatriates

~:: Djibouti Jones ::~

What’s an expatriate?

“Someone who used to be a patriot,” my son said.

“Someone who pays double the rent,” my landlord said.

“Someone who eats pork,” my Muslim friend said.

“Someone who can get me a visa to the United States,” my English student said.

“Someone we laugh at,” my neighbor said.

Actually, an expatriate is someone who lives outside their passport country.

I’ve picked out a few types (and one surprise):

1. Expats who stick out
2. Expats who hunker down
3. Expats who blend in

ABOUT RACHEL: I was raised in the Christian west, now I live in the Muslim east. Expat, runner, author, mother of three, wife to one, Faith-er. I write and pray for peace.

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Are you there, Mattel? It’s me, Skipper.

~:: Ninja Mom Blog ::~

When I was growing up Mattel, Barbie was more often than not naked and sporting an “artfully” trimmed bob cut by a blind toddler, my way of personalizing her look. These days my own kids still leave naked, legs-and-arms akimbo Barbies about the house. But at the toy store, mingled among the blonde clones are a new era of fashion dolls. An increasingly sexed-up group of teens that makes me wonder if I should let them in the house or call the police about a plastic prostitution ring in my playroom. The problem is, my kids really like these tarted up dolls, and I’m not sure what to do about it. Do you let fashion dolls in the house without a background check?

ABOUT NICOLE: Nicole Leigh Shaw consistently wonders, “Why did I come into this room?” Once upon a time she was a mostly serious news journalist, an accidental magazine columnist, and a mediocre editor. Now she funnels an enthusiasm for meeting minimum requirements into her blog, Ninja Mom, and finding pairs of socks for her kids that kind of match. With four kids under age eight (two are twins), she can say with confidence that she’s finally gotten the hang of this birth control thing: Facebook. Because one cannot procreate and update statuses at the same time. Like her Facebook page and follow her on her back-up birth control, Twitter.

Check our her blog at  http://www.ninjamomblog Pin her on Pinterest or send her an email.

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How Much Does Our Culture Influence Women About Body Image, Fashion, Weight, Food, and Beauty?

~:: Life… According to Julie ::~

How has the cultural view of body changed over the years?
(Artist ~ Fredrick Leighton)

The following post is a result of some intense personal reflection about my body weight and image. One day, after having a lot of negative thoughts about how I looked, I took inventory of all the surrounding influences that may have led to my negative thought patterns. I quickly realized the massive amounts of information coming at me from my own bedroom! I had lots of makeup on my dresser, fluffy hair gels, clothes in my closet that no longer fit (that I left there to guilt myself into losing weight), a bathroom scale, a dieting book, a Self magazine, weights under my bed (that I had neglected), plus a television talk show on the latest celebrity detox trend.

“What would happen if all of this disappeared? If the culture stopped screaming at me how I was to look?”

I sat down and wrote as fast as I could – trying to list every possible thing I do that somehow contributes to my ideal of what a woman should look like. It was a startling revelation to see how quickly I came up with 100 different ways the culture tells us how we are supposed to look and dress. If you struggle with loving yourself unconditionally, no matter what your weight or image, this post is for you.

ABOUT JULIE DENEEN: Julie DeNeen is a full-time freelance writer, blogger, and author. She runs the Fabulous Blogging website along with an actively and lively blogging group of nearly 100 members. She’s also the author of a popular blog called Life According to Julie, which chronicles her life as a mom and wanna-be writer. When not in front of her computer, she enjoys spending time with her three kids and husband, her plethora of cats, reading anything she can get her hands on, Downton Abbey, and of course- food in any form it takes.

Follow Julie on Facebook | Twitter

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