Haiku for Future Parents by Bad Parenting Moments

BonBon Break


Haiku for Future Parents by Bad Parenting Moments

It is said that hindsight is 20/20. What is generally left unsaid is that hindsight often comes standard with a virtual and swift kick in your former idealized rear as all of the things you thought you knew are not at all what you expected. This is the case throughout life. Your doctor is a hack until you fail to read an article they published in a medical journal without looking at a dictionary every three words. You look on with disbelief as an Olympic skater struggles to land a triple lutz and then you fall flat on your face on a patch of ice while walking to your car. Yes, the view from the bench is always clear.  We have it all figured out until the coach actually puts us in the game.  There is no denying that we know nothing once experience levels the playing field of dreams constructed only in our head.

Never did I fall from grace faster than the day I became a parent. As I lay in a hospital bed with a baby and no clue, I realized I had no idea what I was doing. This new knowledge came with perfect former knowledge that, indeed, I never knew what I was doing. Those days I sat on park benches and bus seats, running parenting commentary in my head, flashed before my eyes. I was a perfect parent before I had kids. Smug, self-righteous and 100% wrong. I give you my apology and cautionary tale in one, Haiku for Future Parents.

She is a writer and the proud mother to four, young Vikings. She is the author of the parenting blog, Bad Parenting Moments and the chronically unread poetry blog, Room for Cream. She can often be found searching for socks, keys, discount non-perishables and a bathroom lock her children can not pick. Bethany’s work has been published on several parenting sites and, when they’ll have her, in old fashioned black and white in her local, independent newspaper. Her children are unimpressed.

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