Signs That You Need a Vacation After Your Winter Vacation
High fives, butt pats, and fist bumps all around. We made it through another magical Christmas. I don’t know about you, but I am exhausted. I am so exhausted that I can’t even work up the energy to make a chest bump an option in the aforementioned list of celebratory actions. Maybe by Valentine’s day. Below is a simple multiple choice test for you to assess your likelihood of suffering from exhaustion. At the end don’t forget to see the recommendations for your level.
1. When watching a team of vets tracking and tranquilizing rhinos, you have the following reaction:
a) Jealousy. How dare that rhino take a break like that? What do I have to do around hear to get a tranq dart? I’ve been running around this tree removing ornaments and nobody seems concerned.
b) Tears. I just can’t with this lazy rhino.
c) Happiness. This should help track and help the rhino population.
d) Confusion. I always thought they were called a rhin-o-saurus. What is a rhinoceros?
2. Your first trip back to the store after your Christmas Eve trip resulted in the following:
a) Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Flashbacks of not finding a parking spot in the lot, no ham, and slow walkers.
b) Tears. I just can’t with this store and its “aisles.”
c) Happiness. Who doesn’t love the store?
d) Confusion. My husband goes to the store. I must have gotten lost.
3. Christmas music:
a) Is acceptable for a week after the holiday as long as it’s Elvis.
b) Should cease immediately after I open my last present.
c) Is a bright spot in my day and should be played all year round.
d) Should never be played.
4. Christmas cookies:
a) What Christmas cookies? I have my reasons.
b) Are just plain cookies. I don’t have cookie bias.
c) Are placed out at the New Year’s party because we didn’t eat them all gone.
d) Were never made. Who has time?
5. The first day taking the children back to school after break I:
a) Put padding on under their snowsuits and rolled them out of the car as I drove by.
b) May have skipped to the car.
c) Wept because I missed my children.
d) Wait, I’m confused. I thought it was summer.
For every “a” answer, give yourself 5 points.
For every “b” answer, give yourself 6 points.
For every “c” answer, give yourself 7 points.
For every “d” answer, give yourself 8 points.
You know what. Don’t do that. Why didn’t I just go “1” through “4.” Cross out the “5” and put a “1.” Then cross out the “6” and change to “2” and so on. OK. Now divide your answer by the number of Christmas celebrations you had to do this year. Multiply by the number of kids that got sick this holiday season. Then add the number of presents you wrapped.
Forget it. I got lost. Let’s do this:
If you answered mostly “c,” you need to check yourself in immediately to the place that Mariah Carey goes when she suffers from extreme exhaustion. You have worked yourself into being delirious.
If you answered mostly “a,” come sit next to me. Nothing a mimosa won’t cure.
If you answered mostly “b,” you are a bad ass and never change.
If you answered mostly “d,” well, bless your heart.
This post was written by Mandy Waysman exclusively for BonBon Break Media LLC.
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