New Lyrics to the MOST Annoying Toddler Tunes by Science of Parenthood
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In the interest of maintaining your sanity on those daily car trips around town with your toddler, we’ve come up with new lyrics to some of the most popular and mind-numbing toddler tunes. Sing them gently to yourself (or scream out the window – your call!) to drown out the tedium.
Bingo
There comes a time that I adore
And naptime is its name-O!
Go the F to sleep
Go the F to sleep
Go the F to sleep
Cuz’ mommy needs a break-O!
The Song that Never Ends
Three is the age that never ends
How bad it gets? Well that depends!
They said that two would be the age to make me lose my head
But they were wrong, so here’s this song
To help you through instead
(repeat ad nauseam for 365 days)
This Old Man
This small child
Wets the bed
Every night at half past ten
New sheets, new clothes and a’stumble back to bed
Let’s do this at four again
Caillou theme
Stop scratching at the door
I need a minute more
Trust me, it’s boring
I’m peeing
Each time we go through this
No, you don’t need a kiss
I know you miss me
I’m peeing
Everyone does it
Every day!
Me – in the potty
You – on the duvet!
Some day you’ll pee here too
And even have a poo
Please God, let that be true
I’m peeing, peeing, I’m peeing…
BACK OFF!
Wheels on the bus
The food on your plate goes in your mouth
in your mouth
in your mouth
The food on your plate goes in your mouth
Not on the floor
The pockets in your pants get emptied out
emptied out
emptied out
The pockets in your pants get emptied out
Take out the rocks
The coat on your back goes on the hook
on the hook
on the hook
The coat on your back goes on the hook
Yes, every time
Get back in bed before I scream
‘fore I scream
‘fore I scream
Get back in bed before I scream
Mom needs her wine
We’re here every week!
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ABOUT NORINE & JESSICA: Science of Parenthood was created by writer Norine Dworkin-McDaniel and illustrator/web developer Jessica Ziegler.
Once upon a time, Norine met Jessica at one of those “it stays in Vegas” holiday parties — which actually sounds a lot more salacious than it actually was. A little while later, Jessica had a kid. Then Norine had a kid. Then Norine began developing a series of science-y/parent-y ain’t-that-the-truth-isms. Then Jessica came in and scribbled all over them. And Science of Parenthood was born. Norine and Jessica are not Nobel Prize-winning scientists … though they play them on the blog. Fortunately, Norine and Jessica are both married to their own adorable geeks, who explain all this science-y stuff to them at those times when recalling the laws of thermodynamics on three hours of sleep is simply too tall an order.
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