Years ago, I saw an Oprah episode that included an interview with a mother who had forgotten that her daughter was in the car. She drove to work and got out of her car, leaving her daughter there asleep in her seat. Her daughter tragically died that day. It was horrific. How on earth does that happen, I wondered. The mother explained that it occurs too often when there is a break in routine. She almost never drove her daughter to day care in the morning — her husband always did — but he had a dentist appointment that day, so it was her job. Despite the fact that she had loaded her daughter into her seat minutes earlier, she quickly forgot about her and drove straight to work as was her normal routine. It was impossible for me (on that day) to imagine that this could ever happen. And it didn’t happen with my first child.

There was no “routine” to break with baby #1. I was a typical first-time parent — my every thought; every breath was consumed with my new son. I would never forget he was in the car, even when he was sound asleep, as my “routine” was to coexist with a baby, whether it was in the car, house, etc.

Two years later I had forgotten about this Oprah episode and now found myself with a chatty 2-year old and a newborn. It had been two years since I had driven around with a sleepy baby in the car. One day I was out doing errands with only the baby and had left my toddler at home with Daddy. This was a break in my “routine” as my car was never quiet anymore. I came home and entered the house, leaving her asleep in the car. I FORGOT she was in the car. After about 20 seconds of chatting with my husband in the kitchen, he asked if I was going to get her. My heart dropped into my stomach. What if I had forgotten while we were at the store? Thank goodness — no THANK GOD — I didn’t. And THANK GOD it was winter, and she would not have baked in the heat. And THANK GOD my husband was home, not out somewhere with our son, or when would I have realized? I believe I would have remembered within seconds, but I will never know.

That day shook me to my core. I left her alone in the car for no more than 20 seconds, in our garage. The point was that I had forgotten she was in the car. I was so used to a two-year old voice and a two-year old face looking back at me through the rearview mirror that without him there, the car seemed empty. I vowed never to forget again, and I believed at the time that I never would.

Now that little girl is a talkative two-year-old herself and my son is four. I now have two faces looking back at me through the mirror and two voices chatting my ear off in the car. And we have another newborn. Last week I went to a doctor’s appointment with him and left the big kids home with Grandpa. On the way there, I recalled this exact incident and said to myself, “Of course I won’t forget. I am heading to the OB — the doctor who delivered him, whose office is in the same building as the hospital where was born.” But not a few minutes later, my mind was onto other things and by the time I pulled into the parking lot, I had forgotten. Again. I took about five steps away from my car before remembering he was still in it. I frantically looked around as I turned around to go back for him — was anyone watching this horrible unfit mother who FORGOT her kid go back to retrieve him? I could not believe it had happened again.

Again, the whole incident was seconds long. Thankfully I remembered on my own. But it could have been so much worse. I truly thank God for both of these minor but also terrifying incidents. I believe they are both gifts sent down to teach me a valuable lesson. It truly can happen to anyone.

To the parents reading this, especially if you are having your second or third child and are used to loud kids in the car, KNOW your routine. KNOW how tired you can get, how distracted your mind can become thinking of 100 things. I have taken a pledge to myself and my kids. EVERY TIME I am driving alone with the baby, I am going to put my purse in the back with him. I would never leave my car without my purse, so this will force me to look for it and remember he is back there. I have also heard the suggestion of keeping a teddy bear in the front seat to remind the driver. There are already teddy bears and dolls all over my car, so this probably would not help me much. But find something that works for you.

I feel sick telling this story but I am also incredibly grateful for the opportunity to share. If that mother, who accidentally caused the death of her daughter had the courage to go on national television and tell her story to educate others, I can at least share mine. Summer is coming, and it is 106 degrees for three straight months where I live. It takes only a couple of minutes for a baby to die from the heat inside a parked car in the summer.

I pledge never to text and drive.
I pledge to keep my purse in the back when I am alone with the baby in the car.
What do you pledge?

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This post was syndicated with permission to BonBon Break Media LLC.

The post I Left My Baby in the Car first appeared on BonBon Break.

This is one of those posts I was kind of hoping I would not have to write. Alas, my little one got the flu and a bonus ear infection a while back, and just kept getting sinus problems coupled with (EXTRA BONUS!) teething. For all the fellow autoimmune disorder moms out there, you know what that means, right?  Yup. It means you’re getting sick too.  Over the course of the last couple of months, I also had the bonus ear infection (full, with perforated eardrum) plus a super-sized sinus infection, and limited edition stomach flu!

Here are my first-hand tips on what to do when both you and your baby are sick.

1. SANITIZE ALL THE THINGS

Not even kidding with this one. My husband usually teases me because of my OCD and proclivity for decontaminating things, but this time of the year, no one is joking about the Purell! Your little one, no matter the age, is carrying a copious amount of germs. Whether your baby is sneezing in your face, putting everything in his mouth, or touching everything with sticky hands, he or she is spreading germs. Your first line of defense? Sanitize everything, and do it often. Wipe down hard surfaces and plastic toys, wash bedding and soft toys, and pay special attention to communal areas (like the living room or bedroom), and shared objects (like remotes or pillows). So even if you are already sick, this will help limit the length of your sick days, and will hopefully prevent it from being reintroduced into your family.

2. LIMIT TIME IN “DANGER ZONES”

Whether you’re trying to prevent getting sick or you already are, it’s a good idea to limit your baby’s and your exposure to germy hotbeds. Now is the time to cancel play dates, say no to Chuck E Cheese, and avoid busy malls. This goes both ways, too.  Not only are you trying to reduce your chances of getting sick, but you also don’t want to be “that mom.”  You know the mom I’m talking about – the mom who brings her clearly sick child to daycare or a group play date, and seems oblivious to the fact that he’s snotting all over the toys and is coughing directly into your child’s mouth. So yeah, don’t be “that mom.”  Limit time in potential danger zones so you don’t have to run into “that mom.”

3. REST, REST, AND MORE REST

Easier said than done, right? While I’m inclined to agree, there is one exception to the rule. You can’t properly care for your sick child if you are running on fumes. Take it back to the newborn days when you repeated this mantra like a bloodshot-eyed zombie “you sleep when the baby sleeps.” If your baby is sick, hopefully he or she will actually be taking more naps than usual since they’re feeling pretty run down. Forget dishes and errands. Seize every opportunity you can to nap, and take it easy.

4. ASK FOR AND ACCEPT HELP

Thankfully, I live within ten minutes of both my mother and mother-in-law.  Fortunately, we got sick when people were not terribly busy. Thankfully (again), I had no shortage of help when my baby and I needed it. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, don’t mistake pride for courage, and remember it’s not a Mompetition. No one is going to judge you for letting your mom watch the baby while you get some shuteye, or if your mother-in-law graciously brings over dinner.  If anyone does judge you, they are either jealous or . . . well no they’re probably just jealous and you should feel bad for them.

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This post was syndicated with permission to BonBon Break Media, LLC.

The post What To Do When You And Your Baby Are Sick first appeared on BonBon Break.

One of the repeating themes in Adrian Peterson’s defense — at least his PR defense — is that “whuppings” were just part of the way he was raised.  In fact, in a public statement, he said, “I have always believed that the way my parents disciplined me has a great deal to do with the success I have enjoyed as a man.”  Many adults use this line of reasoning when trying to justify spanking (or in this specific case, whipping with a “switch”) as a reasonable form of punishment.

“I was spanked and I turned out just fine.”

“I was whupped and it made me a better man.”

“I was paddled and I turned out better than my friends who weren’t.”

It’s true that the way we were raised is one of the strongest factors in determining our own parenting script. We tend to default to parenting the way we were parented, particularly in times of stress. (Think: misbehaving kids.) But we have to be responsible for consciously choosing whether or not we should continue to live by a default script or turn the page.

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The post “That’s How I Was Raised” and Other Reasons We Spank Our Kids first appeared on BonBon Break.

We live in a small town. As a matter of fact, it is a small town on an island over an hour away from the mainland. It may sound isolated, but the community and friendships here make life full and are the reason my husband and I decided to plant our roots here over 17 years ago. We wanted to raise our kids here.

When we started our family, we knew their friendships would be really important. Community is wide, but friendship circles are tight.

I went to baby groups and library sessions, gymnastics and music. We did it all! Little did I know that these outlets for “friend finding” weren’t only for my kids, but for me as well.

My son quickly fell into a group of wonderful kids and their parents became our island family. Camping trips and off island excursions coupled with school events and sporting events created a euphoric state of connectedness.

…and then one family moved….and then another…and another. I knew the feelings I was having, but for my kids, it altered their universe. These were the people we did ALLTHETHINGS with every day. When the most recent group left, two of his best friends were moving away. His Lego Buddy AND his twin brother, the Stunt Man. Both boys were important pieces to my son’s friendship puzzle. It was time to pick myself up from my sad and weepy bootstraps and provide opportunities to help my kids find their center again.

Here are some of the ways we survived our best friends moving away:

1. Get yourself out there

Once you are cozy in a group, it is difficult to reach out and meet new people or remix with nice folks you have known from a distance, but you need to. Schedule a potluck at a park and invite lots of families. Stay for another game after your child’s game and cheer on the teams. Go to school and community functions. Be in the places where people mingle in your community.

 2. Pull back in

What?! I know, I just told you to get out there. There is something about bringing the family together as well. Soon after our friends moved, I made it my summer goal to create opportunities for my kids to play together…alone. Guess what? By the end of the summer, they realized they were both a lot of fun. Yes, they still drive each other crazy, but they also seek one another out to play and there is a lot less screaming in our house. Build those friendships within your family, too.

3. New activities

We were fortunate to have some GREAT timing with the move. Our friends moved the weekend after school got out and summer camps were starting up. I enrolled my son in four different camps and he made some great new friends who had interests that were similar to his. Encourage your child to pursue one of hir or her interests in a school club or community activity.

4. Start a project

Nothing gets your mind off of things like a little work and sweat. Start a project with your kids. Involve them in the heavy lifting of family chores. Seeing a task or project through from start to finish is a huge pride builder and will give your child something to chat about and share with their new friends.

5. One is silver and the other’s gold

Remember that song “Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other’s gold.”?  While our friends moved away, they are still a part of our lives. While talking to their mom, we agreed that we would be Skyping often and we realized that all three boys were old enough to be introduced to email. WOW! They can send each other pictures and write one another notes! AWESOME!

As I went to sign up my son for a Gmail account, I realized that I had to sign out of my business account to switch over to his…and then the INBOX. Lord! Spam! UGH! There was no way I could just let my son loose on email. Too much information. WAY too much information.

The next day, I saw a new company to follow on Twitter, KidsEmail.org. Hmmm….this is intriguing. I could try it out for FREE. Nice. Next thing I knew I was signed up and I had an account created for my son. He could send an email – it would go to my inbox, I would send it forward to his intended recipient – his friend would receive it and respond and he was excited to get a response! One of the security settings allows the parent to control their contact list. You can control who they get email from! There is no more worrying about “those” types of spammy emails reaching my son’s inbox.

They have a kid-friendly interface for the log-in page:

…and for the inbox. (Plus it can be customized…think fairies, cars and more!)

PERFECT for a 7 year old. What about as they get older? All of the safe guards are optional and there is even a teen interface. I am sold. Check out their other features here.

Now he could correspond safely, whenever he wanted.

Overall, through many attempts to “make things right”, we learned that we can continue on, even when there are huge shifts in our world. Most of all, we know that we can always reach out to friends and family. It IS wonderful to have good friends in other places as well!

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This was a sponsored post from Kids Email written by Val Curtis for BonBon Break. All opinions expressed are her own.

The post 5 Tips to Survive a Best Friend Moving Away first appeared on BonBon Break.