Image courtesy of Julie Harris Photography

Out in the world sometimes I meet other people who know you and they’ve said, “Oh, he’s your husband? He’s really funny!” and I think, “Yeah, he used to be funny, but not to me anymore.” Do you know why I married you? I married you because you were the funniest person I’d ever met. You used to make me laugh so hard that there was more than one occasion where I peed my pants. Now I’ve ground your spirit down into shards and make you sweep them up for the trash can and then I complain about all of the little pointy spirit shards that you missed on the floor that I step on with my bare feet.

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ABOUT ROBYN: I believe that the needs of a marriage should come before those of the children, but I’ve failed to live up to my beliefs. I did not know who I was before becoming a mother. My kids wear cloth diapers and eat organic food, for the most part. The chemical-free mattresses they sleep on were more than our mortgage payment. I’m a big believer in eating local, grass-fed happy animals. I like to buy our produce from a farm, preferably one right up the road. I don’t drink the water here. I’m worried about the world’s honeybees. I believe that homemade chicken bone broth, a shot of apple cider vinegar, and an Epsom salt bath can cure what’s ailing you. I believe in coconut oil and I believe in elderberry syrup. I believe in a higher power. I believe in writing it all down because you will never remember it later.

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