Make Mine a Double
I may as well be talking about drinking because when I think – six years after their birth – that I have twins, my next thought is that I need a drink.
Shockingly enough, a lot of people say, “Oh, I want(ed) twins!” when I tell them I’m a twin mom. My first thought is, these people are insane. My second is along the lines of “oh bless their hearts, they have no idea what they’re talking about.”
It’s like anything else – running a marathon, getting married or having kids – you don’t know what kind of hell you’re in for until you’re in it.
Now, yes of course I love my kids, and yes there are twin moms out there who haven’t a clue what I’m talking about when I whine and complain about how hard it is to raise them. I don’t know who those moms are, and moms with twins plus other kids or moms with multiple sets of multiples deserve some sort of award.
My twins are at that in-between age of adorable toddler and menacing school kid. I’ve stopped wishing for a magic age they will turn, and suddenly sit and play quietly and nicely. It’s just not happening. If I want to have a pleasant experience at Target or the grocery store, I leave them home. I’m sure this will be the same now and 10 years from now. I’ve come to terms with that, and I love them for it.
With that in mind, I give you the gift of twin reality, times two (of course).
What people say: Oh you’re lucky! One pregnancy and two kids!
The reality: I felt very lucky to gain 45 pounds, have to stop running, go to doctor appointments 15 million times over the course of 37 weeks, and be scared shitless that they would be born weighing 1 pound each then spend eternity in the NICU. It was really a dream come true.
What people say: It didn’t really hit me that you’re having two babies until I looked at your registry and saw that you had two of everything.
The reality: I really need some smarter friends and YES, it hit me that I needed two of everything when I was at Babies R Us for 15 hours and got carpel tunnel from using the scan gun to tag everything I was going to need for these two. Luckily we just built a new house, otherwise we would need to rent one of those trailers you see at schools, just to store the diapers!
What people say: Other than “double trouble” and “How do you tell them apart?” – next on the list is ” They have a built-in playmate.”
The reality: We have a built-in WWE match in our home. Constantly. They cannot so much as pass each other in the hallway without throwing an elbow or a smack upside the head! They are drawn together like two magnets and literally have to be pried apart in all situations. They have also always shared a room (splitting them up for bedtime is considered to be the worst punishment), and they often sleep in the same bed. After they wrestle one another to sleep of course.
What people say: They’re very active!
The reality: They need an outlet for all the pent-up crazy of sitting in a classroom for six hours. Please keep your judgment in check as I let them exercise their demons so I don’t have to bring them home like this. My husband thanks you.
As all twin moms know, the best things come in twos, including martinis.