I received a traffic ticket the other day. Okay, in November. I considered just paying the fine, because I don’t have time for defensive driving. But the fine for running a stop sign is like a million dollars, give or take, so online defensive driving, here I come!
Online defensive driving courses are not for the faint of heart. Or for the speedy of readers. Each page is timed so you can’t proceed until the clock runs out. This is AGONIZING. I don’t need 59 seconds to read 3 paragraphs on something that is common sense anyway.
But I guess they assume people who overlook signs in their own neighborhood probably need a refresher or two on what a stop sign actually looks like. Fair enough.
So if you too need to spend an agonizing amount of time completing a driver safety course, I’ve put together a list of some activities to fill your time while waiting for the timer to run out. Sure, these activities MAY actually cause you to lose track of time and MAY actually cause the 6 – 8 hour course to take over 14 hours, but that is neither here nor there. What’s important is that you have stuck it to the man and defeated boredom.
How to pass the time during online defensive driving:
- Clean out your inbox of the 5000+ unread junk emails.
- Leave a positive Amazon review for that thing you loved.
- Leave a negative review for that thing you didn’t love.
- Go through your entire Amazon history for the past two years and look for things to leave reviews on.
- Realize that life through your Amazon account is not exactly exciting.
- Roll out your aching back from sitting in your chair for 87 hours.
- Write a listicle.
- Perfect your Count Down Announcer voice as you anxiously await hitting the NEXT button.
- Fold the laundry.
- I’m just kidding. Surf the internet.
- Search Google for the perfect meme to leave as a comment on that person’s Facebook status.
- Give the children free reign over the pantry. And the fridge. And the sprinkles. Have a Sprite! Yes, we will take Sonic and Draculaura on a wagon ride to the Texaco for gum if FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, you let me finish this before 5pm. Because otherwise there will be a warrant out for Mommy’s arrest.
- Think long and hard about what you’ve done to deserve this. Yes, you ran a stop sign. The same stop sign you have stopped at approximately 1047 times in your own neighborhood. The same stop sign at which you constantly have to remind your husband to actually stop.
- Blame it on your 5-year-old, because if she hadn’t been claiming over and over and over that she was wasting away from hunger not even 2 minutes from your house, you would have been a tad less distracted.
- Fall into a pit of despair. When will the module on traffic signals end? WHEN?
- Smash your computer because you are THISCLOSE to your deadline, and you didn’t realize that you had to wait for the certificate to arrive via carrier pigeon.
- Await imminent arrest.
Happy defensive driving!
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This post was syndicated with permission to BonBon Break Media, LLC.