The Big Reveal by The Girlfriend Mom

BonBon Break


How much are you comfortable revealing? I’m not talking about personal stuff, like how often, or infrequent, you have sex, or how you feel about your neighbor’s crush on your husband. I’m talking physically revealing.

Photo by Charlotte Downie

Depending on how women feel about their bodies during the Winter, Spring and Fall months, Summer can make them feel like a hot mess. Ah, body image. What a loaded subject.

I grew up with a relatively healthy body image. Sure, I partook in the diets popular at the time. And no, I wasn’t always fond of my thighs (thanks dad) and yeah, okay, I’m not gaga over my pooch (thanks mom) but I stopped at eating disorders and comparing myself to whoever graced the covers of Seventeen Magazine.

We all have some hang up when it comes to our bodies. However, it’s what we do with those hangups that’s important. I have absolute and utter admiration for those women who are so completely comfortable in their own skin and ain’t afraid to let their freak flags fly. They could give a rat’s ass what anyone else thinks. They’re confident wearing a Brazilian-cut bikini and a wide-brimmed hat, and don’t pay no never mind to the fact that they do not have a Brazilian ass. These women are my heroes.

The summer is here and women all over the world are feeling pressure and anxiety because it’s time to dust off the bathing suits and Daisy Dukes. Here are a few thoughts on how to ease the pain and soothe the ego. This stress can be prevented. Women can make themselves feel more secure and confident before they disrobe. And I for one, would like to see women disrobe with confidence.

Being proactive and adding exercise to your daily, or even weekly schedule, (long before the summer arrives) is key. But if you forgot to do this, before heading to the beach, try doing a few leg lifts, lunges and squats. It’ll get the blood rushing to your bum, and plumping it up, trust me, I’m plumping right now.

Shop online. Nobody, and I mean nobody, needs to see themselves naked in a department store dressing room mirror. I don’t care if you’re the skinniest bitch in the neighborhood, the florescent lights will find that one minor imperfection and turn it into two pints of cottage cheese on your thighs. ANY online store will do. Try on your tankini in the comfort of your own home. If you’re not ready to air out your bits on the beach (or you just don’t want to) they sell adorable and chic bathing suit covers as well.

If you look around, you can always find at least one other woman, who’s thighs are bumpier than yours and whose stomach is poochier. Befriend them, it’ll make you feel better about yourself. Kidding. My point is, embrace what you have (and don’t have) because there will always be someone who is worse off than you are.

My hope is that we stop being critical of ourselves. We must break free of the media’s shackles, throw out the rags, band together, and stand up against unrealistic and absurd ideals. If we can embrace our imperfections and differences, my guess is that we will be a hell of a lot happier and more at peace in general.

It takes willpower, and true love of self, to keep one’s eyes on one’s own body. Life is too short to spend precious time comparing yourself to anyone else. Our job, as I see it, is to be the best version of ourselves that we can be.

About Dani: Dani’s first headshot was her mugshot, taken after getting arrested for tagging in her hometown. Other lofty accomplishments include working out at the NYU gym alongside Adam Sandler, while attending film school.

She’s written for film and television, worked as a stand up comic, and written and performed two solo shows in NY & LA. Her ork appears in Pilates Style , and among others. I blog about being caught between life as a single girlfriend and a life being a stepmom-ish-type. Did I say caught? I meant trapped.  Find Dani on Facebook.