by Susan Maccarelli of Pecked To Death By Chickens

Whenever I follow someone on Twitter I always read the little description under their Twitter name for a quick snapshot.  I mostly follow women and many of them happen to be moms too.  Lately it seems like a ton of the descriptions include ‘homeschooler’ or some variation of that.  Ditto with Blog ‘About’ pages and Facebook fan pages.  

The only evidence I have that anyone is still sending their kids to public school are the Facebook posts I see complaining about summer vacations or snow-related closures causing kids to be trapped at home for days on end leading to many cases of mommy lunacy.  Education News published an article in 2012 stating that the number of kids being homeschooled has increased 75% since 1999, so I guess I am not losing my marbles and there is a big uptick.

This post isn’t about me having a problem with homeschooling.  My sister homeschools her kids and is fabulous at it.  I imagine it can be especially effective for kids with learning differences or other social and emotional issues who thrive in an environment with lots of direct teacher attention.  I could write a LONG article about the benefits of homeschooling.  My take on parents who homeschool is that they are probably super smart, dedicated and selfless.  As much as I think moms who can do it are the bomb, I think there are a lot of us (like myself) who should run as fast as they can in the other direction.

In much the same way as I feel subpar for not pinning a new gluten-free chia seed scone recipe every weekend or never having come up with a DIY project for how to turn a kids closet into a fun fabulous fairyland, I am now feeling the homeschooling peer pressure.  

I have considered it very BRIEFLY but very seriously because of the peer pressure and also because my husband suggested this would let us travel the world more easily as a family.  I quickly reminded him that my 50 city international concert tour opening for J-Lo had been cancelled due to the fact that it never existed. I think he realized that the 10 hour annual car trip to Hilton Head is about as much travel as we have the time, energy or budget for and laid off of the homeschooling requests.  

I think he also heard my 6 reasons for not homeschooling (and the tone that went along with them) and realized that maybe I was not the best choice to be the kids teacher for 13 years.  Judge for yourself…

ABOUT SUSAN:  As mommy to 2 toddlers, wife to a work-from-home husband and CEO of keeping people in her house alive, Susan Maccarelli derives constant inspiration for her blog, Pecked To Death By Chickens, from life’s little annoyances.  PTDBC is home to many humorous posts about life’s minor annoyances, a Friday series featuring hilarious (and often idiotic) Craigslist postings, and sometimes Susan even writes something to help other bloggers (because once you have been blogging for 6 months you are totally an expert and can start doling out advice to others).  You will also find stories that are a bit more serious/poignant when Susan wishes to show her soft underbelly (sadly this is a euphemism AND a literal description), but most of the time she sticks some humor in there somewhere.

Follow Susan on Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | Google+ | Linked In

CONTINUE READING IN THE FAMILY ROOM

The post 6 Reasons I’m Not Cut Out for Homeschooling first appeared on BonBon Break.

You may be saying to yourself “A picnic for breakfast?” Yep! And here’s why: My kids are spun up about having a picnic thanks to Minnie’s Picnic on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. There should be a warning on the DVD: Watching this may make your kids nag you incessantly for a picnic (plate counting and Mystery Mousekatool optional).

I live in Virginia and it is already HOT and HUMID. My mom-body already resembled a melting candle even before summer hit. So once I accepted that a picnic was inevitable, I started planning how to I could avoid the hot sun beating down on me. I decided to aim for earlier in the day, and – Voila! – the Breakfast Picnic was born!

Although I am sure the idea was floating around before I gave birth to it, I had never heard of it, so much like Al Gore “invented the internet,” if asked I will claim to have invented the Breakfast Picnic.

Now that I have officially executed my first successful Breakfast Picnic, I wanted to offer some guidelines to help other parents venture onto their own front lawns at 8 a.m., hungry and confused.

1. Check the weather

It will be cooler in the morning, but check temps in advance to make sure it will be suitable. Make sure overnight rain won’t leave you with a wet ground, and of course make sure rain won’t threaten the actual event.

2. Build up excitement

Tell your kids the night before. I like to announce things in the form of a question using a sing-song tone: “Who wants to have a breakfast PICNIC tomorrow morning?” For some reason anything asked with “Who wants to…” and sung to a slight tune at my house is GOLD. Even “Who wants to walk across hot coals while eating spinach????” will cause my kids to act like a horde of teen girls when the Beatles first set foot on American soil.

3. Plan your menu ahead

Make a quick list the night before: food and beverage items, napkins, extra napkins, picnic blanket, utensils, paper plates and emergency napkins.

4. Add something special to the menu

Do your regular breakfast food(s) and then add something special. For us, this meant eggs, bacon and banana (because I actually do kick bum at making real breakfast every day, to make up for my general lacking in all other areas of parenting). My ‘special’ food was Pop Tarts. My kids are 2 and 4 and they have never had them. (What kind of mother am I?) I also dangled this little carrot in my ‘build-up-excitement’ talk the night before.

5. Let them go barefoot

This is very hard for me. I consider myself a pretty easygoing parent, but I hate being barefoot myself and for some reason it pains me to have my kids barefoot anywhere but on the beach. Just trust me, they’ll love it. If you can’t handle barefoot, at least let them wear their PJs outside. PJs and barefoot? Even better.

To wrap up, we had a great time! My daughter stated that “This is the best breakfast picnic EVER!” and set aside Pop Tart crust for a bee “so he won’t bother us” (and he didn’t!). My son suffered a scraped knee on the driveway, which caused an end to the festivities, but it was okay because I was starting to melt by that point anyway.

READ MORE FROM PECKED TO DEATH BY CHICKENS

ABOUT SUSAN:  As mommy to 2 toddlers, wife to a work-from-home husband and CEO of keeping people in her house alive, Susan Maccarelli derives constant inspiration for her blog, Pecked To Death By Chickens, from life’s little annoyances.  PTDBC is home to many humorous posts about life’s minor annoyances, a Friday series featuring hilarious (and often idiotic) Craigslist postings, and sometimes Susan even writes something to help other bloggers (because once you have been blogging for 6 months you are totally an expert and can start doling out advice to others).  You will also find stories that are a bit more serious/poignant when Susan wishes to show her soft underbelly (sadly this is a euphemism AND a literal description), but most of the time she sticks some humor in there somewhere.

Follow Susan on Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | Google+ | Linked In

CONTINUE READING IN THE FAMILY ROOM

The post Family Breakfast Picnic (Pinterest Degree Optional) by PTDBC first appeared on BonBon Break.

I recently read a post on BonBon Break emphasizing the importance of teaching your children the correct names for private parts. Sheepishly I recounted the names we were using in our house: front hiney, back hiney, ice cream cone, ball thingy.  Needless to say, I hopped online immediately to get the book that sexuality educator Megan Maas suggested for teaching preschoolers the correct male and female anatomy. Sadly, once the book arrived and the moment of truth came, I realized that my skills were a little lacking.

This is the tale of my weak attempt to teach my daughter correct names for the genitals (I squirmed a little just typing that word).  I am sharing it with you in hopes that my shortcomings may help just one parent out there more effectively discuss labias, scrotums and testicles with a wide-eyed 3-year-old, without gagging, laughing or scarring them for life.  Bring your sense of humor, and read on for the full story!

ABOUT SUSAN: Susan Maccarelli is a temporarily retired sales and account management professional who has been a stay-at-home mom since 2010. As mom to 2 toddlers, wife to a work-from-home husband and executive director of the Maccarelli family meals, activities, cleaning, laundry, shopping, real estate endeavors, travel and general errands, she derives constant inspiration for Pecked To Death By Chickens from the little annoyances that pop up daily as she tries to keep an eye on all the moving parts. Susan enjoys travel, reading, cooking and talking about herself using the third person. In fact, Susan is writing this bio about herself right now.

Follow Susan on Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | Google+ | Linked In

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Photo by iStockphoto. Image by Val Curtis.

The post Why I’m Unqualified To Teach My Preschooler About Private Parts first appeared on BonBon Break.

Do you ever dream about a little escape from the kids and family? A quiet little respite from the chaos of mom and/or wife-dom? A selfish little ‘mom cave’ of sorts? As much as we love our little clan, it does mom good to get away and regroup once in a while! While it would be wonderful to have a spa day or free babysitting once a week, those are not usually a reality for most of us. I’d like to share with you some unique (maybe not glamorous) mini retreats for that I have discovered in my ongoing quest for temporary alone-ness. These are places where you can get peace and quiet (or at least peace) for a few hours or even just a few minutes, and you may never have realized they were there!.

ABOUT SUSAN: Susan Maccarelli is a temporarily retired sales and account management professional who has been a stay at home mom since 2010. As mom to 2 toddlers, wife to a work-from-home husband and executive director of the Maccarelli family meals, activities, cleaning, laundry, shopping, real estate endeavors, travel and general errands, she derives constant inspiration for Pecked To Death By Chickens from the little annoyances that pop up daily as she tries to keep an eye on all the moving parts. Susan enjoys travel, reading, cooking and talking about herself using the third person. In fact, Susan is writing this bio about herself right now. Thanks for visiting.

Follow Susan on Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest |Google+ | LinkedIn

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The post 3 Unusual Places Moms Can Take A Breather by Pecked To Death By Chickens first appeared on BonBon Break.

Photo from Morgue File. Image by Ellie C.

Do you have little tykes at home who consistently interrupt your child-free post-tuck-in time with call outs? Are you constantly summoned back to your toddler’s room for any of the following reasons? Thirst, stories, songs, request and dedications, irrational fears, nonsense talk, scratchy tags in the pjs, darkness, brightness, questioning, bad knock-knock jokes, missing loveys, missing pacifiers, shadows or, in our house, ‘magic lotion’ (aka Vapo-rub) applications on their feet (this is one of those little rituals that seemed clever at the time I invented it to ward off monsters, but is no longer cute)…

ABOUT SUSAN: Susan Maccarelli is a temporarily retired sales and account management professional who has been a stay-at-home mom since 2010. As mom to 2 toddlers, wife to a work-from-home husband and executive director of the Maccarelli family meals, activities, cleaning, laundry, shopping, real estate endeavors, travel and general errands, she derives constant inspiration for Pecked To Death By Chickens from the little annoyances that pop up daily as she tries to keep an eye on all the moving parts. Susan enjoys travel, reading, cooking and talking about herself using the third person. In fact, Susan is writing this bio about herself right now.

Follow Susan on Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | Google+ | Linked In

CONTINUE READING IN THE FAMILY ROOM

The post “Mommmmmeeee!!!”: 5 Ways To Shut Down Nighttime Call Outs by Pecked To Death By Chickens first appeared on BonBon Break.