19 Steps to Putting Sunscreen on Your Kids

Vicki Lesage
Summertime: it’s boiling outside, the kids are going stir-crazy inside, and you’re counting down the hours to Margarita-o-clock.
Time to get the munchkins outdoors, but not before slathering a bottle of SPF 50 on their precious skin. 
Get through the ordeal in just nineteen easy steps: 
1. Tell your kids you’re going to the pool/beach/park and get them all worked up and excited about leaving the house. 
2. Chase them around until you manage to grab one, stubbing your toe in the process. Refrain from shouting out the four-letter word on the tip of your tongue or they’ll be repeating it all week. 
3. Slather the first kid up with sunscreen while the other one gets into your nicely packed beach bag, spreading all its contents on the floor. 
4. Tell the first kid to put their shirt back on while you round up the other kid. Don’t trip over all the crap on the floor. 
5. Come back to find that the first kid has squeezed the entire bottle of sunscreen on the floor. And still hasn’t put their shirt on. 
6. Threaten to not go to the pool/beach/park if they don’t straighten up RIGHT NOW. 
7. Enjoy the two seconds of calm that follow. 
8. Grab a new bottle of sunscreen. Make a mental note to buy the cheap stuff next time. 
9. Return to see the two kids spreading sunscreen all over the floor. “Look Mommy, we’re finger-painting!” 
10. Slather up the second kid with the new bottle of sunscreen. Put shirt directly on second kid instead of asking them to do it. 
11. Clean up sunscreen mess on floor using three cheap rolls of paper towels. Make a mental note to buy the expensive stuff next time. 
12. Add “heavy duty paper towels” to the grocery list. 
13. Go back to repack the beach bag, and find the first kid sipping a juice and eating the snacks that were supposed to be for later. “Look, Mommy! I found snacks!” Sigh a dramatic, meant-to-induce-guilt sigh that goes right over the kid’s head. 
14. Grab more snacks. Grab more juice. Repack the bag. 
15. Add “juice and snacks” to the grocery list. And “entire liquor aisle.” 
16. Top everyone off with a hat. Slide shoes on their feet. 
17. Grab another bottle of sunscreen just in case. Check to make sure hats and shoes are still intact. 
18. Rush to the pool/beach/park before this round of sunscreen wears off. 
19. Pour yourself a nice, cold, stiff drink. Enjoy the ten minutes of peace before they’re too hot/sweaty/tired to play outside anymore.


This should be easy, right? Follow these 19 simple steps to get your kids lathered up and protected from the sun's rays. (A little summer fun humor)

This post was written by Vicki Lesage exclusively for BonBon Break Media, LLC.


Vicki Lesage proves daily that raising French kids isn’t as easy as the hype lets on. She penned three books in between diaper changes and wine refills: Confessions of a Paris Party Girl, Confessions of a Paris Potty Trainer, and Petite Confessions. She writes about the ups and downs of life in the City of Light at VickiLesage.com.