Kim Kardashian, Don’t Lose Yourself to Kanye

I can’t afford a gazillion-dollar Versace platter. Hell, I’d probably have to auction off my entire shoe collection to pay for one bottle of the champagne they regularly down with dinner. As they say, advice is free—and personally, I think it’s the best kind of gift there is. (Did I mention that it’s free?)

So, here it is: You two only have to prove you’re in love to each other, not the whole world. Be your own people, maintain your individuality, and that will make you the best partners and the best parents possible.

I feel compelled to dole out this (admittedly unsolicited) advice because this dressing-alike thing they’ve been doing is weird. And, in my opinion, it’s setting up a problematic relationship model for their daughter.

In case you haven’t been paying attention to their wardrobe choices, Kim and Kanye have been wearing coordinated outfits for the past year and a half because they’re, like, sooooo totally in love. See how simpatico they are? No, really…do…you…see…it?

Kim has been talking about it recently while making the rounds to promote her new book, Selfish, as well as the fact that Kanye regularly weighs in on her clothing choices. On last week’s episode of Live! with Kelly & Michael, she recounted how Kanye and his stylist threw away half her wardrobe one day: “They put everything that he thought wasn’t ‘cool enough’ in a pile, and I walked in and it was like a pile to the ceiling of shoes. All my amazing shoes that I loved, and I started crying. I was like, ‘I can’t get rid of this stuff; your stylist has no idea what she’s talking about.’”

Yes, she cried. But I’ll get back to that.

She continued, “Then I walk into my room and there’s an entire room filled with all new clothes. All the stuff he wanted to fill back up my closet with.…I eventually did get rid of most of that stuff, and my style has evolved and changed. But I couldn’t see it at the time.”

Is it just me, or does Kim sound she has fashion-related Stockholm Syndrome?

At best, Kanye is trying to show the world that they’re united, in love and fashion-forward. At worst, he’s incredibly controlling. I’m not saying that much of her wardrobe wasn’t of, ahem, questionable taste, but it was hers, and he fell in love with her for a reason, didn’t he? It shouldn’t have been to make her over into his very own Barbie doll.

As for Kim, it’s easy to get swept up in the excitement of new-ish love and lust, but to forget who you are and turn into someone completely unrecognizable from your former self? It’s not healthy, and it’s a lesson I hope most women learn before they hit 30.

Also, what does that say to your children, especially a daughter? Will North be allowed to have her own identity as she grows up, or will they try to mold her into something else, something that they want? Will she think that’s OK, or will it spur a serious rebellion? Will she constantly be worried that she’s a disappointment to them if she expresses her own opinions?

And what message does it send to her about adult, romantic relationships? About love, marriage, individuality and a woman’s sense of self? Is it healthy? Is it something that she should mirror in 20 years?

Here’s the thing: Just because you’re a couple, it doesn’t mean you are the same person. Don’t lose yourself in all of the excitement and love. Because it’s really easy to do—and even harder to fix.

If Kim or anyone else still disagrees with the premise of this advice, ask yourself this question: How would you feel if your child changed  herself—her perfect, sassy, wonderful self—just to please a man? Think about that for a second and then decide what you’re going to wear today.

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This post was syndicated with permission to BonBon Break Media, LLC.

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