It is not OK

BonBon Break

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My mom was the disciplinarian from the time I was born until, well, until now still sometimes. If there was a punishment to be handed down, it was coming from her. I can remember a conglomeration of times I was punished by her all melded together, but not really one specific incident.

But my dad never really played that role. I guess he didn’t have to. His punishments weren’t meted out all that often so I remember two incidents very well, one more than the other.

We were at home when the phone rang. It was an old, green, rotary dial phone with an extra-long cord that hung on the wall in the kitchen next to the stove. My dad answered and had a one-sided conversation with the person on the other end. Mostly he just listened. When he was done, he called me into the kitchen and started asking me about something that had happened at school that day.

I don’t remember specifically what I did, but basically, I had mistreated someone at school. I had made her feel inferior and hurt her feelings. I was mean. And for that I got the worst spanking of my whole life. That day I learned that being mean to other people was not ok.

The years between the day of the phone call and now have provided me with not only more wisdom, but also more empathy. Making other people feel inferior, hurting their feelings, acting like I’m better because I fit some type of norm that they don’t, making jokes at another person’s expense. All of that is wrong, and time has made me more sensitive to those issues.

Now that I’m a parent, I know why my dad was so upset that day. I would feel the same way if someone made that call about one of my kids. I not only want better for my children, I want them to be better.  I want them to live in a world without racism or discrimination or hate. I keep thinking that “one day” things will be better. But why can’t things be better today? Why can’t we start working today to make things better?

I want to start a movement. I want ALL of us to start a movement together. I want us to stand up as a group and say, “It is not ok.” I want us to have the bravery to wade into the fray and stand up for ourselves and for the people around us.

Please don’t get me wrong; I do not want us to bully the bullies. I just want us to stand up for what we think is right. I want us to be empowered. I want us to be able to say, “It is not ok to treat me or anyone else badly. It just isn’t.”

Today I’m standing up for myself, and I want you to do the same thing. My issue is weight, but your issue may be something different. Whatever it is, I want you to take today (or sometime soon) to write a post standing up for yourself (or someone else).


My name is Jennifer. I am compassionate, passionate, loyal, loving, funny and kind. I have a big heart, a great laugh, and a low tolerance for bullshit. I am also morbidly obese.

That does not give you or anyone else the right to laugh at me, make jokes about me, call me names, discount me, look down to me, bully me, overlook me or abuse me.

I will not sit down, overlook, go with the flow, grow a tougher skin, accept, ignore or just be quiet.

I will not be shamed. Not anymore.

It is not funny. It is not sarcastic. It is not snarky. It is just mean.

Today I am standing up, speaking out, and letting you know.

It is not OK.

Jennifer W 2ABOUT JENNIFER: Jennifer is a wife and working mom of two. She spends her days working as an auditor, and her nights writing about life and parenting. The two favorite compliments she has received about her writing is that it is honest and real, but she delivers it all with a sass and grace indicative of her down-home Texas style at her blog,

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This post was written by Jennifer P. Williams exclusively for BonBon Break Media, LLC.