How To Lecture Your Teenage Daughter by Her Royal Thighness

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How To Lecture Your Teenage Daughter by Her Royal Thighness

It always starts innocently enough.

“Are you joining Dad and me for dinner tonight?,” I ask my teenage daughter.

“I’m not sure,” she says. “I texted Maddy, but I haven’t heard back yet.”

“Why don’t you call Maddy and ask her if she’s free tonight, instead of waiting for a text. It’s a lot quicker.”

And thus a lecture begins.

You teenagers and the texting. You’re missing out on the entire art of conversation. Why are you waiting for a text, when you can just call? Texting is so impersonal. It’s one notch up from calling someone when you know you’re going to get their machine. …

I go on. And on. And on.

By the end, I’ll have criticized her entire generation’s lack of communication skills and grasp of the English language, questioned her ability to focus amidst an array of technological distractions, criticized social networking, her posture and her messy room, and effectively given everybody a headache … most of all, myself!


Parri Sontag Headshot CroppedABOUT PARRI: Parri Sontag is a middle-aged, weight-challenged semi-professional dieter with a passion for musical theater. She is the mother of a teenage daughter and the wife of a very patient man, both of whom are very accepting of her helpful-hint Tourette’s. An award-winning marketing and communications professional who began her writing career as a journalist, Parri hopes her new Her Royal Thighness blog will propel her one step closer to her dream of following in the footsteps of humor-writing legends Erma Bombeck and Nora Ephron. She is a recovering dodgeball target/Farmville addict who has been mugged of her Halloween candy, ridiculed for hoarding totebags and accused of picking a fight with Santa.

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Graphic by: Michelle Lewsen