How To Avoid Power Struggles With Kids

Amanda Rue

I love this post from Dirt & Boogers because Amanda offers concrete suggestions on just HOW to use choices to avoid power struggles and what to do when choices don’t work as smoothly as you hoped they would. It is one post in a whole series she is doing on avoiding the power-struggle trap! ~Ellie

There you are staring at your child who is staring right back at you. You’ve told him to do something and he flat out refuses.

Your mind races. “What do I do now?”

You feel angry. He feels angry.

You want him to do something. He doesn’t want to do it.

You’re not budging. He’s not budging.

This is where I lose all control of my anger and scream at the top of my lungs, “GO DO IT NOW!!!!!”

It’s called a power struggle.

Power struggles leave us wondering: “Why won’t she just listen to me?” “Why do I have to yell to get his attention?” “Why won’t she just do what I ask him to to?” It can be so frustrating!

Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to avoid them all together?



Amanda is a play therapist turned stay at home mom to two boys. She blogs about parenthood and play over at Dirt and Boogers. She understands that there is no perfection in parenthood and that even parenting educators and experts, like her, make mistakes. It's all about picking ourselves up, learning lessons, and moving on.