Gift Interception by Kim Bongiorno of Let Me Start by Saying
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Gift Interception

~:: Kim Bongiorno of Let Me Start by Saying ::~

Gift Interception by Kim Bongiorno of Let Me Start by SayingIn all the madness that is the holiday season, I find that we learn a lot of lessons, like:

– Where to find the best last-minute deals.
– Your kids may NEED a particular toy in October, but it is SO LAME come December.
– It is possible to freeze cookies during the summer and pass them off as fresh at your neighborhood Christmas cookie exchange, once people are tipsy.

You also learn that it is okay to be The Bad Guy.

In our home, Santa brings each kid three gifts. These are three things they specifically prioritize in an Ultimate Santa Wish List, and mail to him in the North Pole. These items will arrive in Santa’s gift-wrap on Christmas morning, confirming to them that he really does listen and think they deserve to be on the Nice List.

As sweet and special as this tradition is, it in a pain in the you-know-what to uphold.

It isn’t quite as magical when both grandmas plop the same exacts gifts under the tree as Santa, so I spend much of November and December discreetly and tactfully intercepting my kids’ declarations of what they really really want to everyone who will listen.

Grandma will be glowing, clutching an adorable list in 5-year-old scrawl, ready to dash out the door to fulfill her promise to my baby girl to get the Very Important Gifts listed in her hand. Then I’ll burst her bubble, prying said list from her to see if “Santa” already ordered them on Amazon.com for free delivery.

I’m the Debbie Downer of Christmas.

I’m the one who ruins all grandparental shopping fun.

I shower my kids in magic and drown their grandmothers in Nos.

Unfortunately, my task is to ensure that all grandparents, aunts, and uncles only shop from The B List. This way, the Ultimate Santa Wish Lists are only fulfilled by the jolly dude in red.

In order to make my kids’ moment on Christmas morning as exciting as it can be, I have to basically make my mom and in-laws, siblings and siblings-in-law all really annoyed at me. It’s the price I have to pay, and I accept it.

I know one day I’ll be the grandma clutching a misspelled shopping list in crayon, only to be told by the women who stole my son from me “No, you can’t get them any of that”. I’ll want to tell my bossy daughter-in-law that I’m gonna buy whatever I wanna buy, but I’ll pull up my Granny Panties and accept The B List with a (forced) understanding smile.

Besides, when her back is turned, I’ll make sure to sneak my grandkids ice cream for breakfast and candy canes before bed every day between Christmas and New Years. That’s pretty much what my kids’ grandmas do now, and if spoiling them with sneaky treats makes up for not being able to buy them whatever they want? I’ve learned I can live with that.

 

ABOUT KIM: Kim is a writer, blogger, mom of two and wife looking at her suburban life wondering what the heck just happened. Her blog Let Me Start By Saying  earned her the title Circle of Moms Top 25 Funny Mom in 2011 & 2012, and has received attention from sites such as Babble, HuffPostParents, NickMom & BlogHer. When not sharing amusing lists on the blog, working on her Young Adult novel’s manuscript, or causing laughs in weekly humor columns at InThePowderRoom  and HuffingtonPost Parents, Kim can be found on Facebook  & Twitter, in the humor anthology Fifty Shades of Funny: Hook-Ups, Break-Ups and Crack-Ups .

 This post was written by Kim Bongiorno exclusively for Bonbon Break Media, LLC.

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