What I’ve Learned: Gwyneth Paltrow is Human

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A letter to Gwyneth Paltrow

Dear Gwyneth,


I just read your statement about yours and Chris’ decision to ‘consciously uncouple’. I only read it because when I checked my Facebook feed, all I saw was a stream of vitriol aimed at you for your choice of words. Apparently, deciding to describe your marriage breakdown as ‘conscious uncoupling’ was pretentious, stupid and arrogant.

It was at that point that I decided to read your statement for myself because, clearly, you had created a massive controversy with your high-brow, idiotic and self-indulgent press release.

What I saw when I read your statement was quite different, Gwyneth. 

What I read was a carefully worded articulation of a couple who is enduring the pain and sadness of divorce, with the added pressure of having to go through it all under a global microscope. In your words, I saw love for your children. In your turn of phrase, I saw the intentional fore-thought for those children who, in the future may look up this day in their history. I saw words chosen to give them the solid belief that their parents’ choice to separate was steeped in love and care for their futures.

Gwyneth, I have never felt much of a connection with you (okay, none at all, let’s be honest) because the perfect, shiny, Hollywood life you’ve always presented as your own is so far removed from the chaos and flawed reality that is mine. I don’t aspire to be anything like you (and, thank all that is shiny for THAT, because I don’t have a hope of ever matching up) but today, I’m here with you. Today, I have your back.

Today, as the world rips you apart for your choice of words and for coining the pretentious term, ‘conscious uncoupling’, I’ll stand with you and offer a shoulder. I’ll do this for you because you never went into your marriage expecting it to end. You didn’t look into Chris’ eyes at the altar and look forward to this day. On the days the two of you welcomed each of your babies into the world, you certainly didn’t wish this for them. In this regard, we aren’t so different, are we?

Conscious Uncoupling is just Divorce. It’s just a fancy word to protect you from the same pain that accompanies every deceased marriage. Just as Goop is a shiny presentation of that messy thing I call Motherhood. Dressing something up doesn’t change what it is.

Today, you’re quite simply a woman – a mother – going through divorce.

Today I don’t see you as Gwyneth Paltrow, shiny and perfect. Today I see you as a woman in pain, a mother trying to create the best foundation for her children as their world shifts, a lost and sad person who does not deserve the flagellation that, right now, is assaulting you from your computer screen.

Today, I send you love and strength, and I wish you happiness.



(Just another mama)


Michelle - small headshotABOUT MICHELLE: Michelle Lewsen is Editor at Bonbon Break and author of the blog, theycallmemummy.com where she talks about parenting, ADHD, the highs and lows of being a stay at home parent and, of course, the lessons she learns from her three children. She has 18 years’ experience as both an Art Director and Copywriter in the advertising industry and has multiple International Writing awards under her belt. In 2013, she was thrilled to be selected as a BlogHer Voice of the Year in the “Inspiration” category. Follow Michelle via Facebook |Pinterest | Twitter | Google+ | LinkedIn | Instagram


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This post was written by Michelle Lewsen exclusively for BonBon Break Media, LLC