It’s Just a Swimsuit

Dear Mama,
I wrote something about swimsuits. It starts like this:
Swimsuit!
I have a swimsuit!
I like to go swimming!
I have legs!
I am a girl!
I am brave!
Everybody loves me!
Everybody loves me!
Everybody loves me!
I have legs!
I am not afraid of you!
I am not afraid of you!
I have legs!
I am not afraid of you!
I am not afraid of you!
Everybody says I am swimming!
I like it!
The ending is just the words, “I like to go swimming,” over and over for seventy-two hours. Do you like it? Should I shout it?
Love,
Four Year Old Girl
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Dear Four Year Old Who Wrote Something About Swimsuits,
I like it! Very confident and full of excitement! You should definitely shout it.
I wrote something about swimsuits, too. It starts like this:
Ask a Woman in a Swimsuit . . .
Q: Are you afraid of your thighs?
A: I want to go swimming, so I put on this swimsuit.
Q: Do you like your ankles?
A: I want to go swimming, so I put on this swimsuit.
Q: Has anyone ever said, “You sure have shoulders,” and then touched your shoulders?
A: I want to go swimming, so I put on this swimsuit.
Q: Where can I get a sternum like that?
A: I want to go swimming, so I put on this swimsuit.
Q: Are you worried someone will see your moles and think you’re a witch?
A: I want to go swimming, so I put on this swimsuit.
Q: It’s 10 AM; have you wrapped your stomach in cellophane yet?
A: I want to go swimming, so I put on this swimsuit.
Q: How many hips did you grow last night? Nine?
A: I want to go swimming, so I put on this swimsuit.
Q: Do you enjoy your knees?
A: I want to go swimming, so I put on this swimsuit.
Q: Have you ever tried to erase your calves?
A: I want to go swimming, so I put on this swimsuit.
Q: Why do I feel squeamish when I see your stomach?
A: I want to go swimming, so I put on this swimsuit.
Q: Why are you hiding your breasts?
A: I want to go swimming, so I put on this swimsuit.
Q: Why are you flaunting your breasts?
A: I want to go swimming, so I put on this swimsuit.
Q: Did you think about how your bikini would make me feel?
A: I want to go swimming, so I put on this swimsuit.
Q: Where are the pretty girls? Did you eat them?
A: I want to go swimming, so I put on this swimsuit.
Q: Why are you so thin?
A: I want to go swimming, so I put on this swimsuit.
Q: Have you ever eaten a slice of cake and then eaten a second slice of cake?
A: I want to go swimming, so I put on this swimsuit.
Q: Why do your legs look like that?
A: I want to go swimming, so I put on this swimsuit.
Q: Are you afraid a shark will see your body and eat something smaller, like a dolphin?
A: I want to go swimming, so I put on this swimsuit.
The ending is just the words, “Swimming is fun,” over and over for seventy-two hours. We wrote similar things. We should shout about this together!
Remember: you have a swimsuit, I have a swimsuit, and swimming is fun.
Love,
Your Dear Mama
Head to the Front Porch
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