If Men Could Breastfeed by Because My Life is Fascinating

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If Men Could Breastfeed by Because My Life is Fascinating

Men breastfeeding…What if men could breastfeed?

Hold on, any freaks who got here googling “Men Breastfeeding” in hopes of finding some perverted venue for *cough* men to have a go at nursing, well, buzz off.

Yes, I’ve seen your creepy Craigslist ads. Your “primal” desire to get back to the womb via a “breastfeeding experience.” Not gonna happen.

What I’m proposing is a simple “what if” scenario. What if the shoe was on the other foot? What if the boob was on the other person?

You totally know you’ve thought this. In the middle of the night. When you’re sore. When its 3 am and you are so freaking exhausted you want to cry. And you do.

The Great Hulking Beast snores away peaceful as a pear tree. You curse him. You kick him. Nothing. He snorts and snores on.

And so you suckle. You allow that darling little parasite to drain away the last dregs of energy coursing through your veins.

Delirious, you ponder. What if?

What if breastfeeding fell on someone else’s shoulders…er, chest? What if it wasn’t all up to you and your giant milk sacks?


I’m basically a goof-ball who likes cute clothes. I do things by trial and error and get lots of chuckles along the way. My blog and YouTube channel showcase the goofiness. I married my high school sweetheart and he morphed into a philosopher grad student when I wasn’t looking. Our two kids are wild and sweet, funny and frustrating. I like to talk a lot about the exhausting task of parenting. I like to share yummy recipes and horrible disasters. I do serious, too. I’ve battled rheumatoid arthritis and a vicodin addiction. So if you’re in the mood for something a little more murky you can check those things out. Otherwise, come on over and have a laugh.

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