How to Kill Lice and Have Fun Doing It by MomFaze


“Hi Mrs. Myers. This is the grade 2 lice check volunteer.”

I didn’t hear the rest. Just stood there, clutching the phone, waiting for the floor to crack open and drop me into hell.

The girl was seven then, with a tangled mass of long brown hair the likes of which caused her to blanch at the sight of a brush and caused hairdressers to charge me double. Back then, I didn’t even know what lice was. All I knew was it was bad, very very bad. So bad that I flew straight past confusion, fear and all rational thought directly into panic.

Next thing I knew, I was being sucked into Google, staring at bug legs while scratching my head raw. I was furious, freaked out, frightened. Some absentee mother’s kid had infected mine and now I had no choice but to step up, and fast.

I yanked the poor child out of school, swore everyone in town to secrecy, begged the Lice Squad for advice. An hour later, I had the shakes, the sweats. This was War. I had to end the Bugs’ Life before they ended ours. But could I?

ABOUT MOMFAZE: Toronto freelance writer/editor Randi Chapnik Myers and social communicator Mara Shapiro blog for momfaze, a no-holds-barred site for parents of teens and tweens. Randi, who also writes for Today’s Parent, More magazine and the Globe & Mail, is proud to be an expert carpooler, a reluctant chef, and a hockey mom at StixandPux. Mara, a Community Manager for Our Kids Media and book reviewer on Be Nice or Leave Thanks, has a hard time wiping the smile off her face while trying to perfect the art of saying No to her three teenagers.

Follow them at as they stalk their kids online and live to write about it.


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