Moms Bashing Moms – The New Mommy Wars

Jennifer Williams

Mommy Wars — We all hate that term. Let the media pull it out because of some new study that says kids of brunettes are smarter but those of blondes have more fun and you will see moms everywhere banding together to deal with that like dirty laundry on a Sunday afternoon.

How dare they pit us against one another like that? We do such a good job of it on our own.

Wait… What? Yes. You read that right. Moms do such a good job of bashing one another that we don’t need any help from an over-zealous journalist trying to get some hits.

All you have to do is log onto to Facebook to see a blogger writing about something another mom does that she thinks is annoying, ridiculous, or over the top. These types of posts are everywhere, and it seems, to me, that lately they have become more prevalent.

Of course, it is all branded in the name of humor. “I was just being funny. Can’t you take a joke?” I mean, it is hilarious when someone eviscerates the things you do that are important to you. Ha Ha Ha. So funny.

Look, I get it. I do. I roll my eyes when I see something another mom does that I think is nuts. I may even privately message a friend with a “can you believe this” text. It is easy to poke fun of things I don’t like or think are dumb… or make me feel inferior.

With social media, moms are constantly in the spotlight: whether we free-range or helicopter, buy organic or cook a boxed dinner, sew our kids’ Halloween costumes or throw something together at the last minute, and on and on and on. Everything we do is analyzed.

Add in that we are constantly questioning ourselves. I don’t know one mom that hasn’t wondered whether her parenting choices were the right ones for her family. The last thing we need is another mom making jokes about those choices.

We’ve come a long way ladies. For the first time ever, we have a viable female candidate running for President. Whether you agree with her politics or not, that is pretty amazing. Imagine how those suffragettes would feel looking back at all that has been accomplished since they fought for our right to vote.

And then imagine where we would be if Susan B. was too busy dissing the dress that ECS sewed for her daughter’s piano recital to form the NWSA. “Can you believe she made that herself? Who has the time for that nonsense?” “I’m just trying to be a good mom Susan. Something you wouldn’t know anything about.” Burn.

Do we really have to do this to one another? Do we really have to tear one another down? For what? Virality? A few more likes on a Facebook page? To feel better about ourselves? Does it even work?

For the first part of my life I lived in a small East Texas town. Most of my friends looked just like me, were raised just like me, and thought just like me. Then I graduated, got married, and started college. I moved away. I met people from different backgrounds that looked nothing like me and had completely different thoughts. That is when I really started learning about life, from the people who were different.

Every day I see moms who make choices for their families that I would never make. I still respect them. I still support them. I still learn from them. Even when I don’t agree with them. Even when I think “that chick is crazy”.

There is no such thing as a mompetition. The only mother you are competing with is yourself. So do what you love and keeps you sane, whether that is creating a lunch-scape that looks like your kid’s favorite cartoon character or throwing an Uncrustable in a paper bag and calling it a day. You do you.

We all love our kids and want the best for them. We don’t have to tear each other down for the sake of humor or anything else. We don’t have to participate in the mommy wars. Let’s put down our rolling pins and take out menus and make a deal. You promise to keep your judgment of my kid’s corn dog eating habit to yourself and I’ll promise to not say anything about the vegan, frostingless cake that yours had for his birthday. Deal?

This isn’t a war. It’s parenting. Let’s help each other out.

Head to the Family Room


Moms are bashing other moms right and left. Are these the New Mommy Wars?

This post was syndicated with permission to BonBon Break Media, LLC.

Jennifer P. Williams is a wife and working mom of two. She spends her days working as an auditor, and her nights writing about life and parenting. She is the Co-Director of the Southeast Texas Listen To Your Mother Show, and a two-time BlogHer Voices of the Year Honoree. Her first short story was published in the literary anthology Precipice, Volume III. Her writing has been featured on Scary Mommy, Bonbon Break and Mamapedia. You can find her on her blog, Jennifer P. Williams, where sass meets grace.