Comments on: Rethinking Rewards in Kids’ Sports by Shana Norris

By: Shana Norris

Shana Norris — Thu, 14 Nov 2013 15:50:00 +0000

In reply to popcosmo.

Kim, I actually do coach my son’s team. So I’ve seen a lot of … issues … with kids sports both as a parent and as a coach. Thanks for your kind words.

And I agree about participation trophies. I have an 8 year-old who is quite addicted to them and it drives me crazy.

By: Heather {LocalFunforKids}

Heather {LocalFunforKids} — Wed, 13 Nov 2013 17:44:01 +0000

I agree 100%. It drives me crazy to see parents offering rewards for goals. That’s definitely NOT what it’s all about. There is so much more to it than that.

By: Lucy

Lucy — Tue, 12 Nov 2013 18:12:36 +0000

I’m been thinking about this stuff a lot lately. My oldest is 8 and plays soccer too. He asked me the other day if I would pay him if he scored a goal. I replied “Is scoring a goal not exciting enough on its own? Is getting to play soccer and have fun not enough reward on its own? Because if it’s not, you don’t have to play.” I think a lot of parents reward or pay their kids because they are desperate to win or for their child to be a star which is another topic I’ve been thinking and writing on lately.

By: popcosmo

popcosmo — Tue, 12 Nov 2013 16:41:39 +0000

You should be coaching! This is an amazing post, and you are such a fabulous mom and for that you should be so proud 🙂 I was actually paid for grades and loved it. But I don’t pay my kids, and think that participating trophies are the worst thing ever. Kids should be happy they participated, proud of their effort and thrilled to be a part of a team. Love this!
xo ~kim

By: Ellie {Musing Momma}

Ellie {Musing Momma} — Tue, 12 Nov 2013 15:57:32 +0000

Ah, we ran into this last year when my husband, unbeknownst to me, promised our son a toy if he made his first basket in a game. I was mortified – but I have to admit it actually motivated him to try harder during the game and stop being “afraid” of taking a shot. He was only 6 at the time, and all of the kids were very hesitant. That said, it was definitely NOT something I wanted to become a habit. Once he made his first basket, the basket became rewarding in and of itself. No toys for baskets this year!!! I love your suggestions for rewarding effort and sportsmanship over goals and points – and I’d add that we should try to reward with acknowledgement and celebration, rather than toys or money or food. That probably ties into the extrinsic vs. intrinsic motivation piece. Thanks so much for sharing this, Shana.

By: Sarah @ Beauty School Dropout

Sarah @ Beauty School Dropout — Tue, 12 Nov 2013 13:29:56 +0000

Wow, things sure have changed since I was a kid — $5 per goal?! Yeah, you can play a great game and still not win. It makes a lot more sense to reward effort and hustle, not goals and wins.

By: Shana Norris

Shana Norris — Tue, 12 Nov 2013 04:18:23 +0000

In reply to Tamara. Tamara, if you're anything like me, you'll have a lot of thoughts and opinions about this issue when your kids get involved with youth team sports. I think it's a wonderful opportunity for our children. I'd just like to reframe the way we think about certain aspects of it to focus more on the big picture and the character building benefits of team sports.

By: Tamara

Tamara — Mon, 11 Nov 2013 19:36:26 +0000

You have wonderful ideas right there about how to reward (or even just praise) a child. Different standards. We are still not there yet because the kids are too young, but I will definitely need to read this again many times over.

By: Rethinking Rewards in Youth Sports | Shana Norris Blog

Rethinking Rewards in Youth Sports | Shana Norris Blog — Mon, 11 Nov 2013 18:41:04 +0000

[…] I think it’s time to rethink how we reward our children for their performance in youth sports, and I’m talking about it today at Bonbon Break. […]