Comments on: Why It Matters When We Say “So Long As It’s Healthy”

By: Mel

Mel — Thu, 06 Feb 2014 02:28:45 +0000

Honestly, if it eases your mind any, as someone who grew up with one hand and heard a bazillion times “Or, as often the saying goes, “has ten fingers and ten toes,” I rarely thought twice of it. And on the very few occasions I remember thinking about it, I never hesitated to pipe up and tell that adult “yeah, but it’s fine if they don’t too (seriously, 5 year old me really did this)”.

I think this is because children usually aren’t that sensitive… or they don’t know to be until they learn to be. When they see other people cringing away from them or not sure what to do with them, that’s when they start to think something is wrong with them, because until then, they’re just something different and why would there be anything wrong with that? It’s just different.

By: DeRonda Wages

DeRonda Wages — Wed, 05 Feb 2014 22:31:51 +0000

I don't think that is what she meant anymore than people who say, "As long as it's healthy' mean they don't want an unhealthy child. Both are simply a wish for a healthy child who lives long life. I don't feel either devalues the unhealthy or the miscarried and still born babies. It's another example of how difficult it is the say the right thing.

By: Linda Wages

Linda Wages — Wed, 05 Feb 2014 22:30:51 +0000

I needed that last part of your post. Thank you.

By: Adriane Buettel

Adriane Buettel — Wed, 05 Feb 2014 17:46:18 +0000

This is one of those cases where you simply never know how some one will take something. For instance your "So long as it is here. So long as I get a chance to know it.” devalues those children lost to miscarriages or babies that pass shortly after birth. Do you really mean to imply that you would have rather never conceived then to have a baby die in-utero or shortly have birth? I doubt that is what you mean, although it might be what some mean. My first baby was not "healthy" either. He was a preemie with a server birth defect. Even still, when my 2nd child came around I wished/prayed for a healthy baby. That does not mean I value my son any less, that I am any less blessed to be his mom, that I regret one moment we have spent in hospitals recovering from surgeries. It just means I want he best for each of my children. I am would venture to say it is us as parents that take the most offensive to thing like this. Children are resilient and as long as you and your family show your daughter Iove I doubt any outsider will be able to convince her she is not worth everything you give for her.

By: vicki

vicki — Fri, 31 Jan 2014 23:51:32 +0000

P/S
So I never got to know my baby.

By: vicki

vicki — Fri, 31 Jan 2014 23:49:34 +0000

as long as it’s here? it sounds like it might not be. I take more offense to that, possibly because I lost a child at birth.

By: Karen Vasquez

Karen Vasquez — Thu, 30 Jan 2014 18:03:01 +0000

I read this yesterday. I really had to think about what it meant to say “as long as it’s healthy” and now I do prefer, “as long as it’s here”.

By: Lucas'n Melissa Ardelean

Lucas'n Melissa Ardelean — Thu, 30 Jan 2014 17:41:43 +0000

Interesting post. My guess is the original sentiment was a positive one: not caring about the baby's gender (which is still a huge issues in many countries where girls are unwanted). I will definitely have to keep this in mind though.

By: Rex Rice

Rex Rice — Wed, 29 Jan 2014 14:27:17 +0000

Thank you, Jeanette. I needed to be reminded.