Comments on: Why I Regret Spanking My Child

By: Tina Karina McKee

Tina Karina McKee — Wed, 29 Oct 2014 15:39:50 +0000

I spanked one of my kids once. My sister and I were spanked as kids constantly, and I only see adverse affects of hitting a child; it's just unproductive in my opinion. . That being said, when my 2 yr old ran out into the street in front of a car (unharmed, but by the skin of his teeth) I made a conscious decision to spank him. But I don't really feel terrible about it. The spanking came as a shock to him, which is what I was aiming for bc he had no clue of the danger he was in. It didn't affect him in any way. So there's that. But I do regret PLENTY of other forms of non-constructive punishments. For one, I discovered my Monster Voice shortly after his younger twins were born and got into their toddler years. I actually scared myself. It was like i was possessed. Or the few times I made them bite down on a bar of soap (I swear it was only one bite per kid) when they said something totally unacceptable (can't remember what those unacceptable things were now; they're teens). And I will say, that was pretty damn effective. But if I were to relive those years? No. I'd do things differently. I'm ashamed of those moments. They stand out to me, because on the whole I acted pretty fairly. Acted. Inside I was cussing them out upside down and sideways. But that's how we learn, by making mistakes. Well, if we recognize them as mistakes, I should add. I see some pretty cruel behavior towards children in the market, or where ever, and I thank my Godess above that I was never cruel or demeaning towards them. Ever. It kills me when I see things like that. Words can be more powerful than actions. i think you're brave to be honest about the spanking issue, and I really appreciate your piece. I hold absolutely zero judgement about that. And heck, I continue to make mistakes as the mom of three teenagers. I mean every single day is new to us, we learn as we go. And none of us are perfect; we're not meant to be. You sound like an awesome mom. Thanks for sharing…

By: Lillian Connelly

Lillian Connelly — Tue, 23 Sep 2014 01:53:27 +0000

Sometimes parenting can be so difficult. We have a no spanking policy in our home, but there have been many times where the thought cross my mind. It’s always when you are at your wits end and tired, or just feeling a little desperate. It’s complicated sometimes. Thanks for sharing your story.

By: Rebecca Tipper Gallagher

Rebecca Tipper Gallagher — Fri, 19 Sep 2014 16:00:33 +0000

Thanks Greg, I appreciate it. I feel like I let my buttons get pushed much more when they were younger. I am better at keeping my cool and sometimes I wish there was a time machine to go back in! I hope my message resonates with newer parents so they can think more before they act.

By: Rebecca Tipper Gallagher

Rebecca Tipper Gallagher — Fri, 19 Sep 2014 15:59:17 +0000

Thanks for your comment Marti. I appreciate you saying I'm too hard on myself. I'm just trying to enlighten those who might be in the shoes I was in, to think before they act. I know at times I acted cool and level headed, and other times I didn't. Thanks for reading. Discipline should be constructive at all times, instead of fearful punishment.

By: Greg Santomero

Greg Santomero — Thu, 18 Sep 2014 14:16:16 +0000

"if it takes a village to raise a child, why do we neglect one of the parts that is so critical to a child’s psyche and molding in how he or she will perceive violence, corporal punishment, and power?"..Excellent Rebecca.

We all act out of embarrassment, frustration, sleep deprivation, etc. from time to time, so why should our kids be at the losing end of these emotions. Sure, they misstep or make bad decisions but isn't that what growing up & learning's all about? I know many people that received corporal punishment when they were young (some unfortunately beyond) and the majority understood/translated it as unfair and a means of being suppressed and controlled. Can healthy growth actually exist in such an environment?

Everyone's situation is incredibly unique and it takes great courage to put this out there Rebecca, so thank you. Hopefully it will get parents to consider thoughtful & constructive ways to do the most important, yet challenging, job out there!

Well done

By: Marti Auckerman

Marti Auckerman — Wed, 17 Sep 2014 18:39:59 +0000

Hi there! I came across this article on Pinterest and I have been reading articles related to child discipline lately, mainly because of some heat I was taking for posting on a thread that asked for suggestions to biting (just for sense of peace, I did not suggest spanking) and because of all the stories in the news. I see this wave of "no spanking" parenting and I think if that is how someone chooses to raise their child, that is their choice. I also understand that you are not necessarily against it, at least what I think I understood from your article, you were just defining a difference between discipline and abuse. A very necessary line to define, because there are many non-spanking parents who tell the spanking parents that it is abuse, which is very damaging to one's esteem as a parent if you ask me. Anyhow, my thoughts on that are not what I wanted to write you about, what I want to say, what really stood out to me in your article was the regret you have about it. Really, you have to understand we all get angry and frustrated at times, we will all hurt someone's feelings sometimes, we are not perfect parents. I really felt like you are being too hard on yourself. If you have changed your personal position on spanking beliefs that's fine, although I believe your children would be a little too old for that kind of discipline anyhow. I say discipline and not punishment, because those are two very different distinct things in my mind. Your story was very touching to me, in a way that I felt like you feel a lot of personal pain and guilt from those unglued moments! To that I say, remember not how you feel about it, but what your kids do (they don't even remember!), so you should forgive yourself too and keep your mommy on!

By: Why I regret spanking my child

Why I regret spanking my child — Wed, 17 Sep 2014 18:02:58 +0000

[…] This is why I can say I regret some of the spankings I gave my daughter. I know that I reacted in the heat of the moment when I gave her the swat on her diapered backside. Read more […]