In the end, we came up with a “green light/red light” system for our kids. I explained to my son that “green light” houses are ones that I know are safe and he can play at anytime. “Red light” houses are ones that either I am not sure about or I know have a safety concern, so he cannot play there. That has been tough, especially when other kids in the neighborhood ARE playing there.

Just asking parents about guns was awkward at first, but I preface it with “I ask all the parents this…” I realized quickly that parents who are conscientious about gun safety are very quick to reply that YES the guns are locked and offer an explanation, while parents who do not lock them give very vague responses and say something like “The kids know they aren’t allowed near them.” When explaining why my boys can’t play at a house I’m okay with being honest with the parents, “We have a rule that they aren’t allowed in a house where the guns aren’t locked up” – it’s not a judgment, just our rule.