Once your kids can read on their own, it is easy to stop reading aloud to them. But there are so many reasons to continue reading together. Reading aloud to older kids builds their vocabularies and allows them to absorb stories beyond their reading level, which leads to a love of books. More importantly, it helps you stay connected to them by providing some quiet time together that will make memories you will both cherish forever. We continued to read aloud to our two sons at bedtime until they were in their early teens. Here are some of our favorite books we shared together:

The Underland Chronicles, starting with Gregor the Overlander by Suzanne Collins – Collins is a household name now, thanks to her YA trilogy The Hunger Games, but we were fans long before that. We read this entire five-book middle-grade series aloud to our sons, and all of us loved every minute of the action-packed underground fantasy.

The Mouse and the Motorcycle and Runaway Ralph by Beverly Cleary – perfect for younger kids, our sons loved this fun childhood favorite of mine about a clever, curious mouse named Ralph who befriends a little boy.

Lionboy trilogy by Zizou Corder – We read all three Lionboy books to our sons when they were 11 and seven, and the four of us were riveted by the fast-paced story, memorable characters, and exotic locales in this exciting adventure about a boy who can communicate with cats.

Alabama Moon by Watt Key – Ours sons were 11 and 14 when we read this stand-alone novel about a boy whose anti-government father dies and leaves him on his own. Filled with adventure, suspense, and humor, this was one of our all-time favorites (contains some mild swearing).

I, Freddy by Dietlof Reiche – The first book of the series The Golden Hamster Saga, this book introduces Freddy, a hamster who wants to be adopted, who teaches himself to read and write. Clever, funny, and heart-warming, this series will appeal to a wide range of ages – who will all love Freddy!

The Tiger Rising by Kate DiCamillo – Any of DiCamillo’s amazing books work well as read alouds (we also loved listening to The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane on audio), but this slim volume was one of our favorites, about a 12-year-old boy dealing with some big family problems, who becomes friends with the strange new girl at school and finds a real tiger in a cage in the woods.

Half Magic (and other books) by Edward Eager – I couldn’t wait to share this favorite book of my own childhood with my sons, and they loved it as much as I did! It’s the story of four sisters and brothers who find a magic coin that grants their wishes, but only halfway. Like all of Eager’s unique novels, this story is filled with adventure, magic, and a great sense of humor. Appropriate for all ages.

Hide & Seek by Katy Grant – This modern adventure story centers on one of our favorite family activities – geocaching – and is about a boy who finds a mysterious note asking for help in a geocache and what happens when he follows it. Filled with action, suspense, and realistic characters, this one is great for older kids.

Airball: My Life in Briefs by L.D. Harkrader – We read this book to our sons when they were 11 and 14 (twice!). They both loved this hilarious, heart-warming story of a seventh-grade basketball player on a losing team whose coach makes them play in their underwear.

READ THIS NEXT:

• 20 Apps You Can Play with Your Kids
• Holiday Card Revolution
• Invisible Lines
• Remembering Loved Ones Through Food

Read more from the CONNECT posts

 PIN IT FOR LATER

This post was written by Suzan Jackson exclusively for BonBon Break Media, LLC.

Would you like to sponsor a theme? Click here.

The post 9 Awesome Books To Read Aloud to Your Tween first appeared on BonBon Break.

Get active

Some kids feel uncomfortable just sitting down and having a talk—they get tongue-tied because they feel put on the spot. They open up better when you’re doing something active: throwing a ball in the yard, coloring side by side at the table, even washing dishes together.

Use car rides for conversation

It’s tempting to plug in to music and phone calls in the car, especially when we spend half our life chauffeuring kids from one activity to the next, but those in-between times can be a great time to connect.

Listen more and talk less

If children feel like we are always going to launch into Advice Mode every time they start talking, they may shut down. (This is especially true as kids enter their preteen years.) Just like grown-ups, sometimes kids don’t want to be fixed, and they don’t want a solution—they just want to be heard. If a child confides a worry or problem to you, just listen, and listen thoroughly. Ask questions like, “How did that make you feel? Did it make you feel anything else? What do you plan to do about it?” The more you dig, the better you will get to know your child. Once you’ve heard the whole story and allowed them to air their feelings, you may find an opening for giving advice and helping them find a solution—or it may be best to save your words of wisdom for another day.

Ask questions that draw out conversation

Try to avoid yes and no questions like “Did you have a good day?” or “Did you have fun with your friend?” Instead, try asking more specific or open-ended questions that will draw out a more detailed answer — questions like “What happened at recess today?” or “What did everybody talk about at lunch today?” or “What’s new on your team?” If you know something has been bothering your child, try following up with specific questions about the situation.

Be a sympathetic listener 

Children (like adults) need to have their feelings validated. When a child admits to feeling insecure, worried, or angry, acknowledge their emotions. Try saying things like, “Oh, I can understand why that made you feel that way. I would probably feel the same way if that happened to me.”

Pay attention to your kid’s mood 

When they’re in a chatty frame of mind, make a point to listen and engage. My quiet kids often want to talk at strange, inconvenient times: when I’m rushing out the door, or working on a deadline, or up to my ears in chaos. It’s tough not to put kids off in those moments, and it’s perfectly fine to say, “Hey, give me a few minutes to finish what I’m doing, and then I’m all yours.” But if you’ve got a kid who doesn’t usually talk, and they pick a strange time to confide in you, putting them off may mean that you miss the opening.

Avoid sarcasm

If we engage in too much teasing or sarcasm, a sensitive kid may withdraw from us because they don’t feel that we are a safe place for them.

Show your kids that you care about what they care about 

If they’re into a book, ask about their favorite parts (consider reading the book yourself, to share the experience). If they like a sport, let them explain all the rules and demonstrate what skill they’re working on. If they like Pokémon cards (sympathies, friend), do your best to “ooh” and “aah” at their detailed plan for conquering the Pokémon universe.

Unplug

If the phone rings or the computer dings while you are talking to your child, ignore the ding. (Believe me, I know how difficult this is!) But this simple discipline shows our kids that they are important to us, worthy of our full, uninterrupted attention. It also provides an example of setting appropriate boundaries for technology.

Tell stories from your own childhood

Kids love stories that make them laugh, or that reveal our own weaknesses, mistakes, and embarrassing moments. Kids feel safer confiding with us when they know that we are like them, and that we have made mistakes too.

READ THIS NEXT:

• 20 Apps You Can Play With Your Kids
• High School Reunion or Facebook Chat?
• Why I Don’t Want (Or Have) a Best Friend Forever
• When You Don’t Even Know What You Like Anymore

Read more from the CONNECT posts

PIN IT FOR LATER

10 Ways to Get Kids to Open Up was written by Elizabeth Thompson exclusively for BonBon Break Media, LLC.

Would you like to sponsor a theme? Click here.

The post 10 Ways to Get Kids to Open Up first appeared on BonBon Break.

When I first heard the news that my friend’s father had died, I didn’t know what I could possibly say to ease her grief. Instead of trying, I offered to bring her family dinner. I hoped that in feeding her family, she would feel my love and support. I hoped that in saving her the time to shop for groceries and prepare food, she would have more energy to take care of herself when so many others were leaning on her. I hoped that by offering a comforting meal, food might help her when — really — nothing else could. I am not alone in feeling this instinct to reach out with food; countless others set up and join meal trains — collective efforts to feed and nurture those in need — every day.

When people we love go through transformative moments — the death of a loved one, serious illness, or bringing a new child into the world — we reach out to help them settle into new life patterns. Sometimes we can connect with sage and comforting advice, but when we can’t, food is usually a welcome offering.

In recent months, more than a few friends have found themselves in life-changing situations. Along with so many others, I’ve reached out to feed them. As I work to prepare meals, questions keep coming up about what and how and when to deliver. It has been awhile since I’ve been on the receiving end of meal sharing, and somehow my memories of what worked best are fuzzy. I know I’m not the only one with questions, so I’ve been asking for advice from friends who’ve recently benefited from shared meals. Their helpful, honest feedback offers plenty of food for thought. Following are some considerations to help deliver comfort and ease rather than any additional burden:

Decide Between Home Made or Prepared Options.  A homemade meal prepared with love that can be easily heated and served is usually the favorite option, but if you don’t like to cook or don’t have the time, don’t kill yourself trying to make something yourself. If you have a hard time pulling off dinner for your own family, preparing a meal for someone else can feel like a burden rather than gift. Picking up or having take-out delivered — especially from a friend’s favorite spot — is a lovely alternative.

One working mom mentioned that she appreciated meals from Munchery and Blue Apron after she had her baby, so she now uses these services to share meals with friends. She especially likes Munchery because “the food is already prepared; you just have to heat it up.” With Blue Apron, “the recipients still have to put all the ingredients together to make the meal,” so she only uses this service “once their babies have outgrown the newborn stage.”

If you’re helping a friend who lives far from you, the delivery option is often the only way to go. A word of caution about using services out of your area: make sure you read reviews or ask for recommendations. One friend received a number of gift-certificates from a frozen entree service, and, while she appreciated the thought, she sheepishly admitted that “those dishes were not great, sadly. Frozen dishes only go so far on taste; it’s better if possible to get a gift certificate from a restaurant delivery service for fresh food.”

Find Out About Food Allergies, Preferences, or Other Dietary Restrictions. Even if you feel sure you know what a friend’s family can eat, food needs change, especially if you are bringing food to a nursing mother or someone with a serious illness in the family. Always double check. If you’ve signed up to bring meals through a site like Meal Train or Food Tidings, this information is usually listed prominently. If not, just ask.

If a friend is undergoing chemotherapy, being mindful of what you bring can be especially important. A cancer-survivor shared that “tastes can change – some people’s palates becomes metallic, or they have dry-mouth, or feel nauseous much of the time.” Consider checking your library for cookbooks specific to cancer patients. Both The Cancer Fighting Cookbook or One Bite at a Time by Rebecca Katz come highly recommended.

If you know a family has food restrictions, including a list of ingredients for each item that you bring will circumvent concerns or problems.

Plan Your Menu. There’s only so much lasagna a person can eat in one week, right? Since certain dishes are easier to transport than others, these meals get repeated frequently. If you rule out the first few recipes that come to mind, you’re probably on the right track. If delivering, remember that pizza is often the first idea that comes to mind for many people. One new mom mentioned receiving pizza for three meals in a row!

Most meal delivery planning websites allow you to check what others have delivered or plan to deliver around your selected date. If not, it’s easy enough to send a quick text or email, but don’t feel disheartened if you don’t get a response.

Many friends mentioned that the best deliveries they received were “complete” meals. In addition to main dishes, people appreciated receiving items like a simple salad, a side vegetable, or a loaf of French bread. And while it’s certainly not expected, almost everyone I talked with said that something sweet for dessert or a bottle of wine made them feel extra pampered.

As you plan, be sure to consider foods that will hold well in the refrigerator or that can be frozen in case they can’t be eaten right away. When delivering home-prepared meals, be sure to include clear and detailed instructions for re-heating or other necessary prep, for example, “toss goat cheese and dressing before serving.” When possible, keep items on the side that diners can add themselves, especially when delivering food to a family with kids. Homemade or purchased build-your-own-dinner options work well for families with food allergies, sensitivities, or picky eaters.

Know Who You’re Feeding. Make sure you know how many people your meal should serve. Keep in mind that what people feel is enough to eat varies, so erring on the side of excess is generally a good idea. One friend mentioned that a meal she received included only “one take-out size container of soup with nothing else.” She’d had a particularly challenging day, and figuring out how feed her family with that small carton of soup didn’t improve anything. “I felt bad for feeling ungrateful but couldn’t help thinking ‘How would we possibly fill up on this for dinner?’ But then again, we were thankful just to have someone take time out of their busy day to help out in any way.”

While planning to leave a family with leftovers is certainly not expected, many people expressed their gratitude about having extra for lunch or dinner the following day. One new mom recounted how she felt hungry all the time. She loved how “it was so convenient to pull a slice of whatever was leftover from the fridge, microwave it, and eat quickly after putting the baby down to sleep,” especially in the middle of the night.

Plan to Part with Your Containers.  Don’t deliver work or worry with your meal; if at all possible, drop off food in containers that are disposable or that you don’t need returned. A seriously ill friend mentioned that she felt too overwhelmed to even wash dishes sometimes, let alone keep track of coordinating their return. “I still have a canvas bag that I have no clue who brought,” she recounted. “In those early days of diagnosis, I really liked the disposable containers that had no strings attached.”

Another friend dealing with a long-term illness decided to place a cooler on her porch where people can leave meals if no one is home. She leaves clean containers in the cooler for people to pick up after a few days if they want them back. Additionally, other meal preparers can swing by and pick up containers for their own meal deliveries instead of adding the expense and waste of using disposable items.

Honor Your Commitment.  When a family knows dinner is taken care of, the weight on their shoulders feels a little bit lighter. If that dinner doesn’t show up — when they’re hungry and without a plan — that weight feels suddenly heavier than it should. One evening, some friends waited and waited after the scheduled drop-off time, but food never arrived. They felt too embarrassed to contact the person who signed up and scrambled to get dinner together for themselves.

If you’ve signed up to bring dinner but find yourself unable to so, make alternate plans as quickly as you can. Switch days with someone else if you have time or simply have take-out delivered. One day when I was supposed to prepare dinner for a friend, I woke up with a high fever, so I had pizza and a salad dropped off from their favorite restaurant. I felt guilty sending a pizza (see “Plan Your Menu,” above), but since I couldn’t get out of bed myself, it was the best I could do. If nothing else, let your friends know that something has come up so they won’t be counting on dinner.

Deliver with Class. Meal delivery planning websites usually list a drop off window for delivering meals, but sending a text or email to let a friend know when you are coming can be helpful. While you shouldn’t expect a reply, your communication will reassure your friend that dinner is on its way. If your friends are home when you drop off the meal, apart from a few brief words, don’t plan to stay unless specifically invited. Families with new babies are often exhausted, and families dealing with serious illness or loss may not feel like putting on a happy face to chat. While you may want to catch up, remember to be as respectful as possible about the families’ needs. A friend shared a story about receiving a food delivery on a day when, in addition to her compromised immune system, she had a terrible cold. She had casually mentioned how crummy she was feeling to the person who was scheduled to deliver that day, and “A few hours later, the doorbell rang, and there was a paper bag of orange juice, chicken soup, and crackers at my door — this doorbell ditch was the perfect response!”

***

Without exception, all the families I talked with, no matter what their circumstances, expressed how the simple act of being fed made them feel supported and connected during a challenging, hectic, or exhausting time. One friend recounted a story about a friend who felt extremely isolated while undergoing cancer treatments: “The homemade meals she got were like receiving cards in the mail – they were thoughtful and so much fun to ‘open.'”  So remember, whenever you deliver food to a friend in need, be it homemade or prepared food, an elaborate spread or simple fare, your efforts to nourish the body will feed the soul as well.

Meal Train Recipe Ideas

Here are some tempting, delicious recipes to help you get you started thinking about how to keep the meal train rotation new and interesting for families. Make it a complete meal by adding a simple salad or side vegetable. For a special treat, throw in a bottle of wine or something sweet. For additional inspiration, check out our 50+ Beautiful Casseroles round up or our collection of 50+ Fall Soup Recipes to Soothe Your Soul.

Creative Casseroles

Healthy Mexican Casserole by Lauren Kelly Nutrition

Reuben Casserole by The Girl Who Ate Everything

Pork Chop Casserole by Bev Cooks

Stuffed Entrees

Baked Mozzarella Chicken Rolls by Pinch of Yum

Savory Pies

Tomato & Onion Tart by Flour Arrangements

Chicken Pot Pie by Flour Arrangements

Easy Taco Pie by Damn Delicious

Steak & Mushroom Pie by One Sweet Mess

Risotto

Butternut Squash & Leek Risotto by Love & Lemons

Spinach Risotto by Living Lou

Stir Fries

Ginger Beef Stir-Fry by Noshing with the Nolands

Rapini Noodle Bowl by A House in the Hills

Quick Chicken and Broccoli Stir Fry by Damn Delicious

Lasagna with a Twist

Chicken Enchilada Lasagna by My Life as a Strawberry

Chicken Cordon Bleu Lasagna by The Girl Who Ate Everything

READ THIS NEXT:

• 20 Apps You Can Play with Your Kids
• What Moms Want for Kids
• Make Holiday Travel with Kids Drama-Free
• Not Quite a Cat Lady

Read more from the CONNECT posts

This post was written by Suzanne Cowden exclusively for BonBon Break Media, LLC.

The post Food to Share: Meal Train Recipes & Ideas first appeared on BonBon Break.

My husband and I have three kids, ages eight, four, and two. We have ball practices, games, play dates, after-school activities, and every other possible thing that could keep our young family busy. I often wonder why I sign us up for all this crap these extracurricular activities, but I do, and no amount of self-loathing and not sleeping in on Saturday morning will remind me not to do it again next year.

It’s so difficult to connect with my husband these days, and what I mean by connect is to make eye contact and have meaningful conversations. Okay, not even meaningful conversations – more like completing sentences about what we should have for dinner without our children interrupting to ask for more Cheerios or why those dogs are giving each other piggy-back rides.

Real connection isn’t easy, even when we are so connected by social media notifications that we fail to stop fully at stop signs and are pulled over and given warnings from the nice police officer. Or is that just me?

For a while, I had these friends, a married couple, who would send cutesy messages to each other every single day via Facebook for all the world to see. I showed this insanity to my husband, loudly claiming, “That is so weird! Haven’t they ever heard of text messages? Why would they want everyone to see that?!?”

Listen to Carrie Tinsley read her post Our Secret Code on STITCHER , iTunes or simply click here:

“I dunno. I think it’s sweet,” said Mr. Romantic who has not bought me flowers since 2007.

Um, excuse me?  I couldn’t possibly let go of the fact that my husband, the least cheesy person on the planet, approved of “Hey baby! You were so cute this morning! Have an awesome day, Snuggle Bear!” I think I just threw up in the cup-holder of my SUV. Don’t worry, fellow car line parents, someone just said “Snuggle Bear” on Facebook. I’ll be okay.

“Don’t get me wrong,” the husband says. “I would never go there. But if that’s how they want to connect with each other, then we shouldn’t judge them on that. Maybe they didn’t get to talk at breakfast like we did.”

Isn’t someone all non-judgey and diplomatic?

But somehow, usually when I least expect it, my husband manages to squeeze my hand three times. We could be in church, or at home on the couch, or sitting in the stands at one of our kids’ ballgames together, and there it is . . . My silent signal, three little hand squeezes.

We’ve been married for nine years, together for I-can’t-remember-because-I’m-the-mother-of-three-and-I’m-exhausted, but with each squeeze, my heart gives a little flutter.

However small they are, those three squeezes mean everything to me. They mean, “I. Love. You.” I send back four squeezes, “I love you, too,” to my husband, who isn’t the flower-giving, romantic-declaration-on-social-media-giving kind. He gives me a quick sideways glance, a wink, a silent affirmation that, in the midst of whatever we’re doing, he loves me, and I love him, and we are always connected.

He gave me three squeezes when we faced each other to take our vows. I gave him three squeezes when we buried his dad last year. We have squeezed three times holding pregnancy tests and newborn babies and in doctors’ offices and while watching our kids play in the backyard and just about every night as we’re falling asleep after another long day.

Three squeezes is the way we connect. Our secret code is there when words aren’t.

READ THIS NEXT:

• 20 Apps You Can Play with Your Kids
• Food to Share: Meal Train Recipes
• Make Holiday Travel with Kids Drama-Free
• Not Quite a Cat Lady

Read more from the CONNECT posts

PIN OUR SECRET CODE FOR LATER

Our Secret Code was written by Carrie Tinsley exclusively for BonBon Break Media, LLC.

Would you like to sponsor a theme? Click here.

The post Our Secret Code first appeared on BonBon Break.

Standing by my open kitchen window, I try to inconspicuously peak out back without anyone seeing me. I can barely contain myself as I listen to the awesome sound of my 18-year-old son laughing in the pool with five teens from his art class. My heart feels like it will simply explode with happiness.

For years, I’ve longed to hear a group of teens laughing on our back porch while they ate snacks, shared jokes, or played card games. I’ve yearned to see a bunch of kids splashing around in our pool, listening to music, batting around a beach ball, or playfully dunking each other.

To most mothers of teens, having their kids’ friends hang out at your house is a normal occurrence. To a mother of a teen with Asperger’s, this is practically a miracle.

With social and communication difficulties at the crux of Asperger’s, this autism-spectrum disorder often spells a death sentence to a kid’s social life. Being socially awkward and missing out on the hidden nuances of body language, facial expressions, and social cues, kids (and teens and adults) with Asperger’s struggle to connect with others, making it difficult to make and keep friends.

As a mother, this has been the biggest heartbreak of my life—watching my son sit home every Friday and Saturday night throughout middle school and high school, knowing that, while other teens are out having fun together, no one invited my son to join in. Among other things, this social exclusion has totally shaken my son’s self-confidence.

But today, I’m in absolute awe of my son. Despite years of being rejected, excluded, or politely blown off by other teens, he went way beyond his comfort zone to host a pool party and invite a dozen kids in his high school art class. And for the first time since elementary school, kids said YES!

Despite a terrible thunderstorm the day of the party, six teens showed up. To these six teens, it was probably just another fun thing to do on a Saturday afternoon in the summer. To my son, it meant so much more. These teens didn’t just say yes to an event—they said yes to my son. Yes, we like you. Yes, we accept you. Yes, we want to spend time with you. Yes, we enjoy being with you.

To see my son’s face light up, to know he feels valued and accepted, to hear the shared laughter – this is the connection I’ve been longing to see for my son for years. To me, it feels like a miracle. It might be fleeting and last no longer than this pool party. But I’ll take it, for it gives me hope for my son’s future.

READ THIS NEXT:

• 20 Apps You Can Play with Your Kids
• Make Holiday Travel with Kids Drama-Free
• Not Quite a Cat Lady
• Introduce Your Kids to Their Other Mother

Read more from the CONNECT posts

ABOUT LISA: Lisa Beach is a recovering stay-at-home mom and homeschooler who lived to write about it. Her blog, Tweenior Moments, humorously tackles middle age, friends, family, and all the baggage that goes with it. Her work has been published on Erma Bombeck Writer’s Workshop, Midlife Boulevard, and Ten to Twenty Parenting.

Follow Lisa on Facebook | Pinterest | LinkedIn

 PIN IT FOR LATER

What Moms Want for Their Kids was written by Lisa Beach exclusively for BonBon Break Media, LLC.

Would you like to sponsor a theme? Click here.

Photo Credit: Teenage Friends at BigStock Photo

The post What Moms Want for Their Kids first appeared on BonBon Break.

I know the thoughts that are crossing your mind: images of the line to security taking up the entire queue while your little ones scream from the stroller you’re pushing while hauling bag after bag of luggage. I’m sure it makes you want to pop a Xanax to stop yourself from breaking cold sweat

I get it. Travel is tiring, and I’ve got three kids. I’ve traveled a lot. As the wife of a man who works in professional baseball, I spent the majority of his big league years hopping planes with our oldest son. We flew across the country regularly; our longest flight was from Seattle to Tampa. We lived through travel delays, a tropical storm, and one flight that was grounded for 6 hours because they thought they smelled gas on the plane, only to decide to take off again (in the same plane!) later in the day.

In addition to the crazy travel days I’ve had, I’m afraid of flying. So the popping Xanax comment, it’s the truth for me. I don’t fly without some anti-anxiety medicine.

Did I mention when I flew all the time, my son and I flew by ourselves? Without my husband. He got to fly on the private team plane while we lugged our stuff around, living it up in coach and connecting flights.

When we found out we were having twins a couple years later, I thought my travel days were over. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to get onto a flight with all three of them without help until I did.

I decided I could do it.

Last summer, I flew with all three of our kids on my own – a five-year old and twins that were one-and-a-half at the time. If I can do it, so can you, and I’ve got some tips for you to make your travel go smoothly.

1. Fly nonstop/direct. The fewer times you change planes, the higher your chances of making it on time. Every stop you make increases the probability that you will get delayed somewhere. Add in winter weather, and you’re asking for disaster. If at all possible, fly nonstop. If you can’t, try flying directly to a nearby airport and driving the rest of the way. If it’s a three hour or less drive, we usually do this rather than change planes.

2. Try to book flights at sleepy times. Naptime and bedtime are the best times to fly with kids. They get tired, and they sleep on the plane. If you have to choose between nonstop and sleepy time, though, choose the nonstop flight.

3. Bring enough diapers/ formula/ milk to last you overnight. Should you get delayed, you need to have enough of your necessities to last you through the night. You could get stuck in a city for hours with no access to the bags you checked. I know, I’ve seen it happen. Many larger airports do have diapers available in some of the shops, but they are usually larger sizes, like size four.

4. Strollers and car seats – only bring what you need. You can check either of these items at the gate, or even bring car seats onto the plane if you have purchased a seat. If you’re not going to need a stroller at your destination, though, and your child is more likely to want to get out of it than stay in it, I say leave it in the car.

5. Arrive early. Give yourself extra time, especially around the holidays. Most airlines and airports suggest you arrive two hours early for flights around the holidays. If you’re flying through an airport like Midway, that is not enough time to make it through check in and security with kids in tow without significant stress. My advice – add an hour. It’s a lot better to get to the gate early than late.

6. TSA Precheck. Look at your ticket once you’ve printed it. If it says TSA pre-check, you get to go to the shorter line, and you don’t have to take off your shoes. If you hit this jackpot, I want you to know that it’s there before you wait forever in the long security line.

7. When it comes to boarding, know your kids. I used to tell everyone that preboarding was the way to go. While I still do it for my sanity, I think that some kids are better off being the last ones on the plane. Does your child sit still well or is he or she going to be the kid getting in the way and screaming on the plane while other passengers are boarding. If your kid needs to run off some extra steam, try to get them to do that before boarding if possible.

8. For flight time, have the electronics ready. Have movies downloaded, new games and apps added, and be prepared to hand your kid your iPad or phone so they can find something that keeps them occupied. We give our son an iPad for flights, and our twin daughters have apps downloaded on old iPhones donated to us by family members after upgrades.

9. Bribery is key for takeoff and landing. I bring treats and bribe my kids into their seatbelts with it. I bribe our oldest with money to be helpful to me when we are getting on and off the plane when we are getting luggage, and when we are heading to the car.

10. Kids get hungry. Be prepared for the fact that your kids will likely need a fourth meal on any travel day. Bring some snacks (think sandwiches, granola bars, and trail mix) and be ready to stop for food as soon as you arrive. Think about how you feel after a long day of travel, and then think about how you would act if you didn’t know how to control your temper and you were hungry and tired. Keep their bellies happy for smoother travels.

With these tips, I assure you that you will be able to master your flights with ease and other parents will be amazed at how it seems that you have it all together during stressful holiday travel. Now spend less time worrying about how you will survive the flights and look forward to the time you’ll get to spend connecting with the family you don’t get to see as often. Enjoy your memories!

READ THIS NEXT:

• 20 Apps You Can Play with Your Kids
• Not Quite a Cat Lady
• Introduce Your Kids to Their Other Mother
• What You Ought to Know About Family Size

Read more from the CONNECT posts

 PIN IT FOR LATER

This post was written by Nicole Johnson exclusively for BonBon Break Media, LLC.

Would you like to sponsor a theme? Click here.

The post Make Holiday Travel with Kids Drama-Free first appeared on BonBon Break.

I’ve always been a pro-dog, anti-cat person, so the question I have to ask myself is –  why am I in a pet store pushing a cart filled with cat bowls, cat toys, kitty litter, and other cat accessories every new cat owner needs?

There’s only one logical answer: to connect with my younger son.

This summer on his normally uneventful drive home from work, my son found a donut-sized kitten curled into a little black ball on the side of a busy road. I was out of town when he texted the horrible great news. I pretended to be excited as I Googled “how to acquire a pet allergy,” to make it impossible for him to bring his new bundle of cat joy into our pet-free home.

When I came back to town, I was ready to lecture my son about the pitfalls of pet ownership and how his timing could not have been worse, especially with his impending move to college in two months. I was determined to strengthen my leave-no-cat-behind campaign by creating a gorgeous PowerPoint presentation, detailing what I hate most about cats: they walk, climb, and jump onto every counter-top, scatter enough kitty litter to open their own private beach, and walk through the house with litter clinging to their paws and dropping on the counters like dirty fairy dust.

I had already made up my mind. No kitten. No way.

Listen to Lisa Kanarek read her post Not Quite a Cat Lady on STITCHER , iTunes or simply click here:

A few minutes later my son walked into the house and handed me a small velvet ball named Natty. I held her up and could have sworn I heard the theme from The Lion King playing in the background as I looked into her  green, silver-dollar-sized eyes.

That was the point I realized she was not only the cutest kitty I had ever seen, with her tiny paws and a nose the size of a Tic Tac, but also the first kitten I had ever held. Being a cat virgin, I almost dropped her when I heard what sounded and felt like a tiny motorcycle humming inside her.

So much for my “You don’t need a cat” lecture. It was love at first purr.

My son was right that she does keep me company, although when I go to bed she wants to play and often awakens me from a dead sleep with a ninja-like sneak attack. But Natty does even more: she gives me a reason to text and call my son without coming across as an overbearing, pushy, why don’t-you-answer-my-texts? type of mom.

I text him pictures of Natty or post photos and videos of her on an Instagram account I opened called KittyLeftBehind. Soon after, he calls or texts to ask about her or to find out more about the pictures I’ve posted. I’ve tried to put her in Elf-on-the-Shelf poses, but no luck.

At this point in my life, I never thought I’d own a cat or ever consider myself a cat convert, especially when I can’t commit to having a cat tree or kitty condo and the thought of buying a 40 pound bag of cat food makes me break out in hives. Yet, living with Natty has changed that.

Not only do I spend time with a cat I admit I love – although I’m not ready for a sweatshirt with a cat embroidered on the front – I have an excuse to stay in touch with my son. And if that excuse is an adorable, mini-ninja cat who doesn’t mind posing for pictures, that’s even better.

READ THIS NEXT:

• 20 Apps You Can Play with Your Kids
• What You Ought to Know About Family Size
• Introduce Your Kids to Their Other Mother
• Four Dusty Knots

Read more from the CONNECT posts

PIN IT FOR LATER

Not Quite a Cat Lady was written by Lisa Kanarek exclusively for BonBon Break Media, LLC.

Would you like to sponsor a theme? Click here.

The post Not Quite a Cat Lady first appeared on BonBon Break.

We take our kids on hikes, to playgrounds, to pumpkin patches and let them play gleefully in piles of newly fallen leaves to get them unplugged and reconnected to the outside world. But, what do they really “see” of Mother Nature and the miracles she performs?

It’s time to dig a little deeper (pun intended) into the earth and look more closely at some treasures we pass by each and every day of our lives.

Here’s a great suggestion for letting your kids see all “the little things” Mother Nature has to offer.

Buy a jeweler’s loupe and a magnifying glass. If your kids are older and have the manual dexterity, the jeweler’s loupe will allow them to see some things at a cellular level. The magnifying glass is great for smaller, less skilled hands, yet still very powerful, allowing younger tots to participate without frustration. Both of these have LED lights, so viewing is terrific. You want something that magnifies at least 10 times for best results (which these do, the jeweler’s loupe features both 10x and 20x).

Now, grab your wee ones, throw some plastic boots on, take a plastic plate or mat, (you’ll see why soon) some snacks, and hit the trail.

Let your kid/s choose the perfect leaf, either from a tree or from the ground or even better, both. Not only will they be able to see the intricate structure of the leaf, they’ll see the veins, ribs and hairs on the underside of their selection.  Hold the leaf up to the sun for best results and view other wonders such as tiny eggs laid by insects.

Inspect the bark on different trees; you’ll all be amazed at what’s revealed. Acorns, pine cones, and tree litter at the base of trees is home to all sorts of tiny critters, most of which are too small to see with the naked eye.

You may be lucky enough to stumble across a fallen cicada or other larger insects to enlarge. Wings are especially fascinating as are the sections of the bug: hairy little legs, pincers, and antennae – all sorts of wondrous (and sometimes gross) things to see.

Have fun with it –  anything your kids view will be truly eye-opening (OMG, another lame pun?) and will connect your children to a much deeper level of nature.

Watch what happens, they’ll be magnifying their fingers, their clothes, anything and everything!

(CAUTION: Do not leave your husband alone with the hand magnifier. You know why.)

Ready to get down and dirty? (I’m alerting the pun police) Let them lay down on the forest floor, grass, lawn – wherever you are, and direct their attention to the soil. Earthworm tracks and probably the worms themselves will be revealed, and blades of grass are suddenly transformed into a micro-jungle.

Take a piece of the apple, chip, cracker, or whatever snack you have and place it there in the dirt. Wait a few minutes and see what comes crawling along to feed.

Another wonderful place to search is in a shallow creek. Lay down your plastic sheet/ plate/ thingy and scoop some of the watery mud up and place it on the plastic. Spread it out a little and see what’s really in that water!! This is where worms, snails, and other small invertebrates are found along with tadpoles (when it’s warm), small fish, and water bugs.

Some things, of course, will be difficult to really get a good look at if they’re wriggling but you can get a glimpse with the hand magnifier before returning them to the water; it’s well worth the effort.

Flowers are magnificent as they are quite intricate. When opened and pulled apart, it’s a world in and of itself – and when magnified, truly marvelous.

There really isn’t anything in Mother Nature that isn’t worth a closer, in-depth look. It’s a wondrous world your children may not even know exists, depending on their age and/or grade level.

Hopefully, your kids’ interest in science will be magnified (really, another?), and they will continue their magnification activities on their own (probably ad nauseum; you may rue the day you read this post).

We need to instill a true appreciation and respect for nature in our children at an early age. They will be the future caretakers of the environment, and Mother Nature can use all the help she can get.

So, disconnect your children from Wi-Fi and establish a strong connection to the vibrant energy the Earth provides.

What are you waiting for, you know Mother does NOT like to be kept waiting!

READ THIS NEXT:

• 20 Apps You Can Play with Your Kids
• What You Ought to Know About Family Size
• Four Dusty Knots
• A Letter to My Hometown

Read more from the CONNECT posts

 PIN IT FOR LATER

Introduce Your Kids to Their Other Mother was written by Mary McLaurine exclusively for BonBon Break Media, LLC.

Would you like to sponsor a theme? Click here.

The post Introduce Your Kids to Their Other Mother first appeared on BonBon Break.

Like any parent of more than two kids, I get plenty of comments along the lines of “Boy, you have your hands full!”

Yes, yes, I do. Obviously. Don’t rub it in unless you are reaching out a helping hand.

Something about “larger families” really gets to people these days. While I am far from having 15 children, the looks I get from people suggest that it’s pretty much the same thing. What could I possibly be thinking to put myself voluntarily through so much work?

But here’s the thing: those numbers don’t matter. Every parent has their hands full. Every parent is thrown into the reality that their life is no longer their own. Every action they make matters to someone else, for better or for worse.

There are still bottoms to wipe and mouths to feed. There are still children saying “no” and bullies and great teachers and not-so-great teachers. There are still throw-themselves-on-the-floor fits and hugs and “I love you”s. There are challenges and victories and days when you just want to throw your hands up and walk out the door.

Life with three, or four or 10 kids, is just as overwhelming and beautiful as it is with one. It’s all about perspective and where we are in that journey of letting go and being what that child (or children) needs.

Contrary to what our society suggests (2.1 kids . . .or has that average declined in recent years?), there is no RIGHT family size. No matter how many kids you have (or don’t have), all of us are in this together, getting through the best they can.

So, when you’re tempted to write off that mom with just one (“your life must be so easy”) or the mom of 10 (“are you crazy?”), don’t. Instead, nod, smile to her and maybe sneak in a high-five, too. “You’ve got this, and you’re not alone!”

READ THIS NEXT:

• 20 Apps You Can Play with Your Kids
• 9 Awesome Books to Read Aloud to Your Tween
• A Letter to My Hometown
• Four Dusty Knots

 Read more from the CONNECT posts

 PIN IT FOR LATER

What Everyone Ought to Know About Family Size was written by Amelia Mayer exclusively for BonBon Break Media, LLC.

Would you like to sponsor a theme? Click here.

The post What Everyone Ought to Know About Family Size first appeared on BonBon Break.

No give, no slack, taut against the box top.

I am struggling to manipulate the twisted cord, trying to loosen it. I won’t let myself use scissors to cut it apart. In a strange symbolic way, I need to work at each ropy knot. It helps me touch her pain, to connect with her shattered heart.

My grandmother gave me the box yesterday when we met for lunch. She had written me letters, telling me about an unfinished quilt inside a cardboard box. When lunch was done, the plates cleared and the check paid, she handed me the box.

My father, her only son, died 25 years ago. He was young, it was sudden. I remember that night I called to tell her he was dead. Decades have gone by, and I can still hear her voice over the phone line. Her words were few and frail, her breath panting like she was drowning, grabbing for air, lurching around for hope.

So, we meet for lunch, and I bring the box home.

Working slowly to untangle the knots, I picture her in my mind, packing up this quilt. Wrapping the cotton cord around the cardboard box, ferociously tugging each knot, smaller and tighter. Hot sobbing tears splashing on the lid.  Her son is gone. The world is now flat. Her life is suddenly small and narrow, tied up with grief.

I am a quilter, and she has given me the project to finish. The fabric is older than my marriage; the spools of thread predate my children. It began in a world when my father still spoke, still laughed, still breathed.  He died, and this quilt was, in a sense, buried with him.

Now the quilt is mine. This is a gift, a memory, an invitation to connect with the heart of a mother who has lost a son. Yes, we share genetics; I have her hands, her creativity, and her food allergies. But our relationship transcends our shared DNA. I am a mother of a son, and it is only now that I could have a small glimpse into her pain.

And I weep as the knots come undone.

READ THIS NEXT:

• 20 Apps You Can Play with Your Kids
• A Letter to my Hometown
• 9 Awesome Books to Read Aloud to Your Tween
• Holiday Card Revolution

Read more from the CONNECT posts

PIN IT FOR LATER

This post was written by Melane Palermo exclusively for BonBon Break Media, LLC.

Would you like to sponsor a theme? Click here.

The post Four Dusty Knots first appeared on BonBon Break.

To My Lovely Hometown,

I am sorry.

I apologize for all of the years I looked at you with disdain, contempt, and frustration. I spent years planning my escape from your suburban grasp, thinking that you were the problem, but it wasn’t you at all – it was me.

I look back at the person I was when I lived here, and now I see things more clearly: I see a lost girl full of pain who desperately needed to find her voice and create her own narrative. At the time, I was afraid that you were dictating my identity – telling me who I should be – instead of allowing me to develop on my own.

Now I’m older, married and with children, and I consider myself fortunate to return to you year after year. I am lucky enough to come back to the same house I lived in for my whole childhood and to now share it with my own kids.

I’m no longer blinded by my misery. I’m finally able to look at you with respect and gratitude for all that you are, and I’m able to look at you with love.

I love your beguiling woods, your peaceful lakes, and your winding roads. I love Main Street and its landmarks, the local library, and the Town Hall with its two dollar movies. I love our ice cream shop, the Little Red Schoolhouse, and the expansive parks where I played as a child. I even love the Starbucks in the center of town.

Listen to Christie Megill read her post A Letter to My Hometown

on STITCHER , iTunes or simply click here:

It’s true, you are not without your flaws – no place is – but you did not deserve the self-righteous scorn I felt back then. I sat with my friends on Friday nights in parked cars, and we cursed you as the source of all of our troubles. “If only we weren’t here…” we said.

I now know that we all had our own inner demons to work through, which would have been true regardless of where we lived.

Actually, I owe you thanks for those meaningful relationships I formed with kindred spirits during my years here. Many of them remain intact all this time later. Now, we reminisce about the adventures, heartaches, and delights that connected us in our hometown.

I’m visiting you now, once again, and the memories bombard me – the good, the bad, the hurtful, the sweet. Now with a bit of wisdom, I can accept these memories with compassion, especially compassion for myself, and the past version of me.

I know that you have changed as well. Tragedy has struck here, and it would have been all too easy for the town to crumble under its grief. Instead, recent years have seen citizens both present and previous come together in immense town pride and community recovery to nurture what is so special here. This town has meaning for many. It matters.

You give me a sense of place in this world – a sense of where I have been and where I am going. I’ve made major life choices in relation to you, and with your guidance, I know how I want to live my life. Because of the people I’ve known here, I know what integrity looks like, and I know when it’s absent.

I am connected to you, and I’m learning that I’ve kept your good parts within me as I’ve grown.

Thank you, Newtown, CT. Because of you, I am who I am today.

READ THIS NEXT:

• 20 Apps You Can Play with Your Kids
• 9 Awesome Books to Read Aloud to Your Tween
• Holiday Card Revolution
• Invisible Lines

Read more from the CONNECT posts

PIN IT FOR LATER

This post was written by Christie Megill exclusively for BonBon Break Media, LLC.

Would you like to sponsor a theme? Click here.

The post A Letter to my Hometown first appeared on BonBon Break.

I just got a flyer in the mail from one of those big online photo companies offering me 40 percent off if I order my holiday cards now. Once upon a time, this would have set off a feeling that I was behind the curve for sending those cards in the mail, but no longer. This isn’t because I’ve become so organized that I had already ordered them by the first day of Fall, nor is it because I’ve become so curmudgeonly that I’m skipping the whole holiday season. No, it’s that over the years, I’ve come to realize that one holiday is about as good as another for connecting with old friends.

To be clear, I’m not at all grumpy about Christmas cards; I’m far from it. I like getting them, I like seeing how old friends’ kids are growing up and what part of their lives they choose to highlight. I’m amused by the range of effort: there are those who clearly get a professional photo shoot every year and those who grab the one snapshot off their phones where everyone’s eyes were open. I even really like the letters that some people send out that seem equal parts about updating their friends, and embarrassing their children.

I have one friend whose card is always like magic. She gets out scrapbooking tools and die-cutters and different colored paper and makes each and every person a gorgeous card with a personal note. One year, she sent a perfect little paper coffee cup, and my daughter pretended it was hot chocolate for the next six months. Every time I get one, I’m totally touched.

So please don’t drop me from your list just because I didn’t get around to sending you a card within the traditional winter holiday time period. Instead, join my holiday card revolution.

A few years ago, by the time I finally got around to placing my card order on December 26^th, I realized it was silly to order Christmas-themed cards, so I went with a New Year’s one instead. This was a revelation.

Listen to Moose O’Donnell read his post Cards For All Seasons on STITCHER , iTunes or simply click here:

Okay, as thoughts go, maybe it doesn’t sound so brilliant, but mull it over. The weeks before the holidays are busy. There’s work, there’s school, there are parties and dinners, and trees to trim. It’s not like that giant box of peppermint bark is just going to eat itself. Seriously, the last thing I have time to do is wrestle my address list. Suddenly understanding that these old-fashioned paper connections could happen at any time of the year means they can happen on my terms when the timing makes sense.

This revelation was so freeing that the next year I blew all the way through January before getting around to thinking about cards. That year I sent Valentine’s Day cards to all and sundry. That felt a little weird, actually. I send cards to a lot of people I really care about, but more in the “I love you, man, you’re the best” sense rather than the champagne-and-canoodle-by-the-fire interpretation usually associated with Valentine’s Day. So Valentine’s Day sort of works, but isn’t necessarily my favorite.

The following year was better. I realized, why not choose a silly holiday that would pop up in people’s mailboxes like a shot out of the blue. That year it was late January, just in time for Groundhog Day on February 2nd!

The only real challenge with this idea comes from the fact that the card printing companies don’t have great options for non-standard holidays. There are any number of choices for Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanza and many others. But Groundhog Day? Not so much. Embracing the notion that any holiday can be your card muse may require a bit of creativity with the more generic themes on offer at the card stores.

Last year presented an especially amazing card opportunity.  It was 2015, and that meant that March 14th wrote out as 31415. Oh, be still my geeky heart: that’s Pi Day to more decimal places than it will be for another century! (for those of you without geeky hearts, Pi – or Π if your browser is up to the task – is a mathematical constant, the first digits of which are 3.1415926. Geeks get really excited about it, and take it as an excuse to eat pie on March 14).

But don’t despair, you haven’t missed the fun. Pi is generally rounded to 3.1416, so 2016 is another great Pi Day card year. And after that? Next year, it might be St. Patrick’s Day before I get around to it. But keep those cards coming; I promise I’ll return the favor eventually.

READ THIS NEXT:

• 20 Apps You Can Play with Your Kids
• Invisible Lines
• Remembering Loved Ones Through Food
• The Key to Managing Meltdowns

Read more from the CONNECT posts

ABOUT MOOSE:  In addition to getting creative with holiday card timing, Moose O’Donnell likes to get creative in the kitchen, often by mixing electronics and power tools. His kids usually think this is hilarious (his wife sometimes agrees, depending on the resulting mess). He dabbles in marine biology and medical innovation, both of which benefit from electronics and power tools. He thinks Pi day is about as good as a holiday gets. Check out his projects on Moosecraft.

Follow Moose on  Twitter | LinkedIn

 PIN IT FOR LATER

This post was written by Moose O’Donnell exclusively for BonBon Break Media, LLC

Would you like to sponsor a theme? Click here.

The post Holiday Card Revolution first appeared on BonBon Break.