7 Reasons I Will Always Support Same-Sex Marriage
I scrolled through the wedding pictures, one of them nicer, sweeter, and more romantic than the one before.
I took in their various poses, grateful for how the camera captured the magic and love of that day from their first kiss to the smeared cake on their faces along with the laughter I could practically hear from inside my screen. There were also family portraits of course, everyone crowded around the couple who only had eyes for each other.
I smiled, big and bright.
These were the kinds of pictures where you feel like you were part of the day, even if you weren’t.
I took a bittersweet stroll down memory lane as I took in my old friend and lover smiling for the camera and now happily married.
Did it bother me that the person standing next to him was a handsome and tuxedo- clad man?
Not at all.
My heart was happy he’d found someone to share his life with and actually, a small part of me was just the tiniest bit jealous that his new husband was such a hunk.
It wasn’t the first time I’d opened Facebook or caught up with an old friend who’d passed on information about a man from my past.
In fact, it was the seventh.
I have seven ex-boyfriends who have come out in the time since we dated.
Growing up and dating in the 1980’s and 90’s there was a fair amount of wondering, “is she/he or isn’t she/he?” and quite often the stigma of being labeled that way was a reason to stay deep inside in the closet.
I hardly gave it a thought, my thinking leading me to believe if you wanted to date me chances were you were straight.
Oh, how silly and naïve I was back then.
But by the time the 90’s turned into the new millennium those labels began to peel away and more people started being truthful about their sexuality.
Even George Michael, Elton John, Ricky Martin, and Neil Patrick Harris have come out, much to the dismay of every girl who ever daydreamed about them (raises hand).
I once had a friend say to me, “Don’t you ever get upset? You’ve been rejected for a member of the opposite sex?” But that wasn’t the way I looked at it at all, in fact I felt privileged to be a girl they chose to spend time with when they were questioning their lives and sexuality (as I am sure they were back then when we were all hormones and heat).
And the simple truth is we had authentic romantic feelings for each other.
I still remember my stomach filling with butterflies when Kent asked me to the prom and my heart bursting with happiness when Tom showed up with a bouquet of daises instead of roses because he’d remembered I didn’t like them.
I blushed when Landon flirted with me; I couldn’t stop smiling for hours after Bobby told me he loved me for the first time. Sam was cute and funny and my hand fit inside his like it belonged there. And Tony…, well, Tony could turn me on with a simple touch. Vince dirty –danced with me often and kissed me into my 28th birthday and I could never forget the way I felt with Marcus, who was and always will be one of the great loves of my life. ***
With all seven of those men I suppose I could have allowed the situation to become a complete cliché in the aftermath. It is no secret that I’ve always liked men who wore penny loafers and knew the value of good cologne. Perhaps there was something to be said for my gravitation and attraction to members of the opposite sex who shared my love of 70’s disco or a fondness for the theatre but those things weren’t what I was thinking of when J took me to bed or I waited for L to get home from work so we could go to the movies.
The old stereo types simply didn’t take anything about my attraction to these men into account.
Instead our relationships were typical and acted exactly like they should; filled with love, laughter, spats and fights, doubts and eventual breakups.
The reasons against same-sex marriage never made any sense to me.
Not then and not now.
It would seem that those who have a problem with it have their hearts and minds closed to the real people behind their supposed logic.
Because these seven men of mine, they are my reasons.
And my reasons have nothing to do with faith, beliefs or political standing.
My reasons have families; moms and dads, siblings and grandparents, and some even have children- of their own. Each one of them is a flesh- and- blood human being as perfectly flawed and wonderful as anyone else.
They are not statistics or pop culture data.
They are not abominations or sound bites for talking head pundits.
My reasons are a happy part of my past. They make me glad I was allowed to be a small part of their lives.
My reasons are the very definition of inclusion, self-awareness and the miraculous power of acceptance.
My reasons stand up and out against hypocrisy (because truthfully, how could I say I’m opposed to gay marriage when seven of the men I’ve dated and loved are openly gay and wish to marry?)
Today many hold tight to their opinions and beliefs, shutting their eyes and hearts to the truth of our diverse and wonderful world but I will always choose to stand in the light.
While I believe they have every right to those opinions; we’ll just have to agree to disagree.
After all, I have seven incredible reasons.
*** Names have been changed.
ABOUT KIRSTEN: Kirsten writes about love, life, and mothering her 6-year-old twins conceived after infertility on her blog The Kir Corner. She weaves romantic stories on her fiction blog: Kirsten A Piccini.
Kirsten has been syndicated on BlogHer, is published in Precipice:Volume 2 (The Literary Anthology of Write on Edge) and is a content editor for Studio30Plus. Kirsten is also a proud alumnus of the inaugural 2012 NYC cast of Listen to Your Mother.
You can find her on Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and Instagram but please bring cupcakes.
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